Back on Campus

Tuesday I had the privilege of speaking to a group of Family and Consumer Science (FCS) students at my alma mater, Mount Vernon Nazarene University (although, when I graduated it was "only" a college). I have stayed in touch with one of my professors, and she had sent out a request to any grads who would be willing to come and share with students about how we've used our FCS classes since graduating. I was really excited to do so! David and I dropped Cora off at my sister's house and then went the rest of the way to the school, stopping for dinner first. I had a lot of fun driving around campus quickly showing David where I spent 4 years of my life. Campus was very much the same, and yet there were many changes! It's been a good 8 years since I've been there and so things have obviously grown/changed! We hope to go back in the not-too-distant future to take more time looking around.

Anyway, I had a great time, joining 2 other graduates, talking about life since graduation and sharing ways in which I use my classes now. It was great to see my prof again, haven't seen her in about 8 years either so it was great to catch up with her a bit. She has been telling me about one of the FCS students having grown up in the Congo and has been trying to get us to connect. The girl was able to come last night so we were finally able to meet.

Wow! What a small world!!!!!!! Not only did this girl grow up in the Congo, her parents were with the same mission group we had been with, she lived in the capitol city for a short time (as had we) and spent a few years at the same mission station we had lived most of our time, living in "our" house!!!!!! They had also spent time at the second mission station we had been, and she and her family had toured the boarding school I had worked at for 2 years after my own college graduation! How amazing is all of that???? I find it remarkable, and when I learned she had lived in my childhood home I gave her a hug and almost started crying. This girl is about a decade younger than I and yet I felt an instant connection with her. I hope the Lord allows for us to form a friendship. Her folks are back overseas right now, so I hope over time we can have her up here and get to know her, etc. It's so neat to see the ways the Lord works in our lives, huh?

Soccer Saturday

My niece, Sophia, is on an outdoor soccer team! Over the winter she played on an indoor team and now she's trying outdoor soccer. :) We weren't able to see her play over the winter, but Saturday we went to Ashland so David could help with some more kitchen reno and I went to Soph's soccer game with my sister, Cora, my other niece, Haddie and Molly. Riley stayed home with the men to do man things. :) I had a great time watching Sophia play in the mud  soccer. As my sister and I were sitting there, in the sun (when we had arrived at the field it was cloudy and looked dangerously close to raining), we thought maybe sunscreen would've been a good idea. Yah, we were right. We all left the games with rosy cheeks and my sister and I had/have RED arms! Oh well. Now we'll be sporting the ever-popular farmer's tan this summer. :) Here are some photos of our soccer player!

My beautiful sister keeping control of everyone while I take pictures

When did she stop being a little girl? She looks so old in this photo!

Oooo! Mud!

Look at those baby blues!

Who Am I: Boundaries

Since starting counseling I have realized I may not be who I'm supposed to be, who God has made me to be. I truly think that for so long I have done things to cover up the horrid stuff that happened to me that I became someone different. Not entirely, because for years I have walked with the Lord so I know on some levels I am who He's made me to be. Hmmm...this is sounding very confusing, I'm sorry! Bear with me! One area in which I know needs to change is that of setting boundaries. I do believe I have become a people-pleaser, which means I am often not pleased and sometimes I wonder if God isn't pleased?

During this pregnancy I've had to say "no" to a lot of things. I just haven't felt well, haven't had the energy and thus have had hardly any motivation to do much of anything, even the necessities are getting done slower. It's been very hard for me. I've always been known as the organized one, the dependable one, the social one, the one who will do anything and everything to help out whomever. It's been so hard for me, the independent one to depend on other people. But, I can't help but wonder if God has been teaching me this pregnancy to stop trying to please everyone (including myself) and focus on what it is HE wants for me to do. Right now? Well, right now I'm supposed to be taking care of myself as I grow this little human. For whatever reason I don't have energy to be gang-busters all the time and as hard as it's been it's my reality right now. It has forced me to make boundaries.

Boundaries are not fun, all the time. Especially for someone who doesn't want to disappoint others. I've had to say "no" to family visiting, "no" to going to friend's parties and "no" even to my husband to do or go places. As I struggle with setting boundaries for myself I believe God has been bringing people along who seem to know the art of boundary-setting already. I have been reading more blogs written for and by pastors wives. I"m learning that it's OK to not have my finger in everything church-related. Right now it's easy to say no to those things because I have a 2 year old and am pregnant. The key will be remembering this when I'm no longer pregnant and as the kids get older. Does this mean I will not be involved in anything church-related? Of course not! That's silly! Not only am I a pastor's wife, I feel very called to serving others and being a part of ministry. I just need to take the time to seek the Lord and not rush into everything. AND! Be OK if I'm not doing everything.

God has also opened my eyes to the way my sister is able to set boundaries. She is very practical about such things and I really need to learn from her. She's good about telling people if something won't work. She's good at setting boundaries with her children and even me, her sister! :) Do I always like it when we can't get together at the time I want? Of course not! But, that's not the point. My sister needs to set the boundaries that are best for her. As far as I can tell she has this art down and doesn't feel regret about setting those boundaries. I think this is where I struggle the most. I don't want to disappoint people by telling them "no." Oh, wait! That's people-pleasing again!!! :)

This will be a work in progress, I'm sure. I will not learn this lesson overnight, I'm NOT learning this lesson over night, however I'm trying and that's what counts, huh? I'll be writing several blogs answering the question about who I am. I don't know if they'll be weekly or not, but more as things are revealed to me and I am processing them.

An Easter Celebration

This year Easter and my mom's birthday fell on the same day. Unless my mom lives well into her 100s she will never again celebrate her birthday on Easter (and hasn't before now either!). It seems to have become a tradition for my family to join us for Easter and so this year we carried on the tradition. My parents, and my sister and her crew joined us for church followed by lunch and birthday celebration.

The church service was phenomenal! I was so proud of David!!! He was nervous, this being the first Easter in our new church but things went really well and he did GREAT!!! Most importantly, the Spirit of the LIVING God was there and so palpable. The songs chosen for the congregation and choir to sing only added to the whole worship experience. We also did something that was new to all of us. A couple in our church were given a hand-hewn hickory cross. The wife did her research and learned that for the first 1000 years Christians had a tradition of putting fresh flowers on a cross on Easter Sunday to signify rebirth and Christ's resurrection. So, that's what we did! They provided a huge array of fresh, spring flowers and everyone was asked to take a flower and put it on the cross at the front of the sanctuary before they sat down. It was so beautiful!!!! And it was such a neat reminder of what we were celebrating. It was a wonderful, stress-free service. Again, we were reminded how things are done in a healthy, well-functioning church. God is so good!!!!

After church we went to our house and us women got lunch going. David and my dad fired up the grill and my BIL, Jamie wrangled the kids! Due to days of rain (including Sunday) we had an egg hunt in the house this year. The kids thought that was great fun! :) Lunch took a bit longer to prepare then was expected (I had a meltdown, which I'm sure will be hilarious AFTER the baby is born and I'm not so full of extra hormones!!), but we finally managed to eat! :) We ended with cake and gifts for my mom to celebrate her! It was a wonderful day and I'm so thankful for my family. Hope you enjoy the photos below! :)

Our cutie! She was not too in to getting her picture taken on Sunday and she was NOT into having anything done with her hair! :) 

Yes, I'm sunburned. 

Cousins!

The Abrusci's

My parents

Isn't Riley a hoot?

Enjoying their bounty!

And, just 'cause she's cute!

The Other Side of Pregnancy

Being pregnant makes my baby radar that much more strong. I am drawn to all things "baby" and of course I notice all the pregnant women around me. I have also been drawn to shows on TV that have to do with pregnancy or babies. I suppose that's just the way it is--like when you buy a new car you start noticing that EVERYONE has the same car you just bought! :) Unfortunately, my radar is also picking up the sad parts of pregnancy, the sad situations, the situations that aren't ideal.

I was watching the show "16 and Pregnant" on MTV the other day and was so saddened by the predicament of this 16 year old girl. She was the only 1 of her family (she had 4 siblings, all of her sisters being teen moms themselves) that had the chance of graduating high school. Her mom was so insistent about it because she wanted at least 1 of her 5 children to have a better life. And then, the girl gets pregnant. Her boyfriend was probably in his 20s, he certainly wasn't in high school any longer and was a barber. I was so saddened by watching this girl have such high hopes for her future and the future of their baby. She was so sure that her man would stand by her, but a wonderful father, love her and the baby even more then now, etc., etc., etc. I'm sure you can just imagine how it all turned out. Of course, as the pregnancy continues on he becomes less and less interested in her, actually making it pretty clear he's no longer interested now that she's pregnant. He was taped telling his friends that it's fun to have sex with your girl but then once she's pregnant it's just not exciting anymore. Wow. It's time for the baby to be born. The girl is induced (of course) and is crying due to the pain. I mean, labor is just that--labor. It's painful!!! Her man says to her, "Hey! Why are you crying?" DUH!!!! She says he was making her so upset at this point that she was just trying to ignore him. I can't even imagine. Labor with Cora (and I know with Baby Sprout) was hard enough that I can not imagine what it would have been like had it not been for David's constant support and love and strength (and my sister's!). The show ends with her struggling to graduate, taking care of the baby constantly, the father, of course, totally disinterested and the future of everyone unclear. I have to admit I cried. I cried for this girl and the baby. I just found it so sad.

A few days later we were at the mall, and I went into a maternity store to buy a few more things for summer. I love this store, and I have always thought it would be fun to work there. Then, I was reminded, when talking with the sales clerk, that not every pregnancy is ideal and there are some very sad situations. She told us that just the day before she had helped a 12 year old get some maternity clothes. That's right, TWELVE!!!!!!! And, the mom (probably barely 30 herself) was so excited to be buying maternity clothes for her daughter who was due in a week. The father of this unborn child was TWENTY (!!!!). Can you even imagine????????? The sales clerk says she gets teens all the time saying they need to have a Teen Maternity store. WOW!

What is wrong with our society? When did we come to the conclusion that it was OK to televise teens having babies? In who's mind is it OK for a 20 year old and 12 year old to have a sexual relationship? These things are NOT OK and yet our culture seems hell-bent on promoting it!!!! I am so disgusted. I don't think there is any ONE reason for this decline in our society. I don't think there is any ONE thing we can say, "if it weren't for this we wouldn't have teen pregnancy." I think it's a whole lot of things. I think it's girls growing up in fatherless homes; girls growing up in dysfunctional homes where the father might be there but doesn't make any effort to relate to his daughter; I think it's all the horrendous clothes that are sold to be worn by girls of all ages, things I wouldn't wear as an adult and things I truly believe at one time would only be worn by prostitutes.

David and I talk all the time about how we're raising Cora and her brother to be people who love the Lord and don't feel the need to fall to the pressures of society to feel loved. We know we're only 2 years into this parenting thing and these issues are yet to become big. But, we have already started with Cora. We don't buy short skirts/dresses/shorts for her. We don't buy any clothing that says such things as "princess," "I rule," "I'm the boss," etc. We make sure that if she's wearing a tank top it's not spaghetti straps and doesn't fall off her shoulders. Her bathing suits are modest and not bikinis. You may say, "yeah, but she's only 2." Well, folks, if we don't start now when do we start? Because I think if we started when she was in school it would be too late. We are teaching her how to sit in a dress/skirt, how to behave in public and telling her she's beautiful AND smart. David knows the importance of making sure she is secure in his love. Yes, it's "easy" now while she's 2, but I honestly believe that if we keep this practice up when we get to the pre-teen and teen years the foundation will be there and it'll be easier for all of us!

Please, protect your daughters and sons. Protect them from themselves. Be a parent, not a friend. You have plenty of time after they get out of school to be their friend. Do them a favor and be a parent!! They'll thank you later!

THE Story of Love Part II

Matthew 28:1-10 (English Standard Version)

 ¹Now after the Sabbath, toward the dawn of the first day of the week, Mary Magdalene and the other Mary went to see the tomb. ²And behold, there was a great earthquake, for an angel of the Lord descended from heaven and came and rolled back the stone and sat on it. ³ His appearance was like lightning, and his clothing white as snow. ⁴And for fear of him the guards trembled and⁽ became like dead men. ⁵But the angel said to the women, "Do not be afraid, for I know that you seek Jesus who was crucified. ⁶He is not here, for he has risen, as he said. Come, see the place where he lay. ⁷Then go quickly and tell his disciples that he has risen from the dead, and behold, he is going before you to Galilee; there you will see him. See, I have told you." ⁸So they departed quickly from the tomb with fear and great joy, and ran to tell his disciples. ⁹And behold, Jesus met them and said, "Greetings!" And they came up and took hold of his feet and worshiped him. ¹⁰Then Jesus said to them, "Do not be afraid; go and tell my brothers to go to Galilee, and there they will see me."

THE Story of Love Part I

Matthew 26:20-35 (English Standard Version)

²⁰When it was evening, he reclined at the table with the twelve. ²¹And as they were eating, he said, "Truly, I say to you, one of you will betray me." ²²And they were very sorrowful and began to say to him one after another, "Is it I, Lord?" ²³He answered,  "He who has dipped his hand in the dish with me will betray me. ²⁴The Son of Man goes as it is written of him, but woe to that man by whom the Son of Man is betrayed! It would have been better for that man if he had not been born." ²⁵Judas, who would betray him, answered, "Is it I, Rabbi?" He said to him, "You have said so." ²⁶ Now as they were eating, Jesus took bread, and after blessing it broke it and gave it to the disciples, and said, "Take, eat; this is my body." ²⁷And he took a cup, and when he had given thanks he gave it to them, saying, "Drink of it, all of you, ²⁸for this is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins. ²⁹I tell you I will not drink again of this fruit of the vine until that day when I drink it new with you in my Father’s kingdom." ³⁰ And when they had sung a hymn, they went out to the Mount of Olives. ³¹Then Jesus said to them, "You will all fall away because of me this night. For it is written, 'I will strike the shepherd, and the sheep of the flock will be scattered.' ³²But after I am raised up, I will go before you to Galilee." ³³ Peter answered him, "Though they all fall away because of you, I will never fall away." ³⁴Jesus said to him, "Truly, I tell you, this very night, before the rooster crows, you will deny me three times." ³⁵ Peter said to him, "Even if I must die with you, I will not deny you!" And all the disciples said the same.

Mark 14:32-51 (English Standard Version)

³²And they went to a place called Gethsemane. And he said to his disciples, "Sit here while I pray." ³³And he took with him Peter and James and John, and began to be greatly distressed and troubled. ³⁴And he said to them,  "My soul is very sorrowful, even to death. Remain here and watch." ³⁵And going a little farther, he fell on the ground and prayed that, if it were possible, the hour might pass from him. ³⁶And he said,  "Abba, Father, all things are possible for you. Remove this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will." ³⁷And he came and found them sleeping, and he said to Peter, "Simon, are you asleep? Could you not watch one hour? ³⁸ Watch and pray that you may not enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak." ³⁹And again he went away and prayed, saying the same words. ⁴⁰And again he came and found them sleeping, for their eyes were very heavy, and they did not know what to answer him. ⁴¹And he came the third time and said to them, "Are you still sleeping and taking your rest? It is enough; the hour has come. The Son of Man is betrayed into the hands of sinners. ⁴²Rise, let us be going; see, my betrayer is at hand."⁴³ And immediately, while he was still speaking, Judas came, one of the twelve, and with him a crowd with swords and clubs, from the chief priests and the scribes and the elders. ⁴⁴Now the betrayer had given them a sign, saying, "The one I will kiss is the man. Seize him and lead him away under guard." ⁴⁵And when he came, he went up to him at once and said, "Rabbi!" And he kissed him. ⁴⁶And they laid hands on him and seized him. ⁴⁷But one of those who stood by drew his sword and struck the servant of the high priest and cut off his ear. ⁴⁸And Jesus said to them, "Have you come out as against a robber, with swords and clubs to capture me? ⁴⁹ Day after day I was with you in the temple teaching, and you did not seize me. But let the Scriptures be fulfilled." ⁵⁰And they all left him and fled.

Luke 22:54-23:25 (English Standard Version)

⁵⁴Then they seized him and led him away, bringing him into the high priest’s house,and Peter was following at a distance. ⁵⁵And when they had kindled a fire in the middle of the courtyard and sat down together, Peter sat down among them. ⁵⁶Then a servant girl, seeing him as he sat in the light and looking closely at him, said, "This man also was with him." ⁵⁷But he denied it, saying, "Woman, I do not know him." ⁵⁸And a little later someone else saw him and said, "You also are one of them." But Peter said, "Man, I am not." ⁵⁹And after an interval of about an hour still another insisted, saying, "Certainly this man also was with him, for he too is a Galilean." ⁶⁰But Peter said, "Man, I do not know what you are talking about." And immediately, while he was still speaking, the rooster crowed. ⁶¹And the Lord turned and looked at Peter. And Peter remembered the saying of the Lord, how he had said to him,  "Before the rooster crows today, you will deny me three times." ⁶²And he went out and wept bitterly. ⁶³Now the men who were holding Jesus in custody were mocking him as they beat him. ⁶⁴ They also blindfolded him and kept asking him, "Prophesy! Who is it that struck you?" ⁶⁵And they said many other things against him, blaspheming him.⁶⁶When day came, the assembly of the elders of the people gathered together, both chief priests and scribes. And they led him away to their council, and they said,⁶⁷ "If you are the Christ, tell us." But he said to them, "If I tell you, you will not believe, ⁶⁸and if I ask you, you will not answer. ⁶⁹But from now on the Son of Man shall be seated at the right hand of the power of God." ⁷⁰So they all said, "Are you the Son of God, then?" And he said to them,  "You say that I am." ⁷¹Then they said, "What further testimony do we need? We have heard it ourselves from his own lips."

Luke 23:1-25

¹Then the whole company of them arose and brought him before Pilate. ²And they began to accuse him, saying, "We found this man misleading our nation and forbidding us to give tribute to Caesar, and saying that he himself is Christ, a king." ³And Pilate asked him, "Are you the King of the Jews?" And he answered him,  "You have said so." ⁴Then Pilate said to the chief priests and the crowds, "I find no guilt in this man." ⁵But they were urgent, saying, "He stirs up the people, teaching throughout all Judea, from Galilee even to this place." ⁶When Pilate heard this, he asked whether the man was a Galilean. ⁷And when he learned that he belonged to Herod’s jurisdiction, he sent him over to Herod, who was himself in Jerusalem at that time. ⁸When Herod saw Jesus, he was very glad, for he had long desired to see him, because he had heard about him, and he was hoping to see some sign done by him. ⁹So he questioned him at some length, but he made no answer. ¹⁰The chief priests and the scribes stood by, vehemently accusing him. ¹¹And Herod with his soldiers treated him with contempt and mocked him. Then, arraying him in splendid clothing, he sent him back to Pilate. ¹²And Herod and Pilate became friends with each other that very day, for before this they had been at enmity with each other. ¹³Pilate then called together the chief priests and the rulers and the people, ¹⁴and said to them, "You brought me this man as one who was misleading the people. And after examining him before you, behold, I did not find this man guilty of any of your charges against him. ¹⁵Neither did Herod, for he sent him back to us. Look, nothing deserving death has been done by him. ¹⁶ I will therefore punish and release him." ¹⁸ But they all cried out together, "Away with this man, and release to us Barabbas"— ¹⁹a man who had been thrown into prison for an insurrection started in the city and for murder. ²⁰Pilate addressed them once more, desiring to release Jesus, ²¹but they kept shouting, "Crucify, crucify him!" ²²A third time he said to them, "Why, what evil has he done? I have found in him no guilt deserving death. I will therefore punish and release him." ²³But they were urgent, demanding with loud cries that he should be crucified. And their voices prevailed. ²⁴So Pilate decided that their demand should be granted. ²⁵He released the man who had been thrown into prison for insurrection and murder, for whom they asked, but he delivered Jesus over to their will.

John 19 (English Standard Version)

¹Then Pilate took Jesus and flogged him. ² And the soldiers twisted together a crown of thorns and put it on his head and arrayed him in a purple robe. ³They came up to him, saying, "Hail, King of the Jews!" and struck him with their hands. ⁴Pilate went out again and said to them, "See, I am bringing him out to you that you may know that I find no guilt in him." ⁵So Jesus came out, wearing the crown of thorns and the purple robe. Pilate said to them, "Behold the man!" ⁶When the chief priests and the officers saw him, they cried out, "Crucify him, crucify him!" Pilate said to them, "Take him yourselves and crucify him, for I find no guilt in him." ⁷The Jews answered him, "We have a law, and according to that law he ought to die because he has made himself the Son of God." ⁸When Pilate heard this statement, he was even more afraid. ⁹ He entered his headquarters again and said to Jesus, "Where are you from?" But Jesus gave him no answer. ¹⁰So Pilate said to him, "You will not speak to me? Do you not know that I have authority to release you and authority to crucify you?" ¹¹Jesus answered him,  "You would have no authority over me at all unless it had been given you from above. Therefore he who delivered me over to you has the greater sin." ¹²From then on Pilate sought to release him, but the Jews cried out, "If you release this man, you are not Caesar’s friend. Everyone who makes himself a king opposes Caesar." ¹³So when Pilate heard these words, he brought Jesus out and sat down on the judgment seat at a place called The Stone Pavement, and in Aramaic Gabbatha.¹⁴Now it was the day of Preparation of the Passover. It was about the sixth hour. He said to the Jews, "Behold your King!" ¹⁵They cried out, "Away with him, away with him, crucify him!" Pilate said to them, "Shall I crucify your King?" The chief priests answered, "We have no king but Caesar." ¹⁶ So he delivered him over to them to be crucified. So they took Jesus, ¹⁷and he went out, bearing his own cross, to the place called The Place of a Skull, which in Aramaic is called Golgotha. ¹⁸ There they crucified him, and with him two others, one on either side, and Jesus between them. ¹⁹Pilate also wrote an inscription and put it on the cross. It read, "Jesus of Nazareth, the King of the Jews." ²⁰Many of the Jews read this inscription, for the place where Jesus was crucified was near the city, and it was written in Aramaic, in Latin, and in Greek. ²¹So the chief priests of the Jews said to Pilate, "Do not write, 'The King of the Jews,' but rather, 'This man said, I am King of the Jews.'" ²²Pilate answered, "What I have written I have written." ²³ When the soldiers had crucified Jesus, they took his garments and divided them into four parts, one part for each soldier; also his tunic. But the tunic was seamless, woven in one piece from top to bottom, ²⁴so they said to one another, "Let us not tear it, but cast lots for it to see whose it shall be." This was to fulfill the Scripture which says,

    "They divided my garments among them,

and for my clothing they cast lots."   

   So the soldiers did these things, ²⁵ but standing by the cross of Jesus were his mother and his mother’s sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene. ²⁶When Jesus saw his mother and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to his mother,  "Woman, behold, your son!" ²⁷Then he said to the disciple, "Behold, your mother!"And from that hour the disciple took her to his own home. ²⁸After this, Jesus, knowing that all was now finished, said (to fulfill the Scripture), "I thirst." ²⁹A jar full of sour wine stood there, so they put a sponge full of the sour wine on a hyssop branch and held it to his mouth. ³⁰When Jesus had received the sour wine, he said, "It is finished," and he bowed his head and gave up his spirit. ³¹Since it was the day of Preparation, and so that the bodies would not remain on the cross on the Sabbath (for that Sabbath was a high day), the Jews asked Pilate that their legs might be broken and that they might be taken away. ³²So the soldiers came and broke the legs of the first, and of the other who had been crucified with him.³³But when they came to Jesus and saw that he was already dead, they did not break his legs. ³⁴But one of the soldiers pierced his side with a spear, and at once there came out blood and water. ³⁵He who saw it has borne witness— his testimony is true, and he knows that he is telling the truth—that you also may believe. ³⁶ For these things took place that the Scripture might be fulfilled: "Not one of his bones will be broken." ³⁷And again another Scripture says, "They will look on him whom they have pierced." ³⁸ After these things Joseph of Arimathea, who was a disciple of Jesus, but secretly for fear of the Jews, asked Pilate that he might take away the body of Jesus, and Pilate gave him permission. So he came and took away his body. ³⁹ Nicodemus also, who earlier had come to Jesus by night, came bringing a mixture of myrrh and aloes, about seventy-five pounds in weight. ⁴⁰So they took the body of Jesus and bound it in linen cloths with the spices, as is the burial custom of the Jews. ⁴¹Now in the place where he was crucified there was a garden, and in the garden a new tomb in which no one had yet been laid. ⁴²So because of the Jewish day of Preparation, since the tomb was close at hand, they laid Jesus there.