A new look...for now...

Good morning readers! I have decided to copy my sister and give my blog a new look! :) I know, I'm the oldest, so she's supposed to copy ME, but she just has too many good ideas for me NOT to follow! :) :) It's still a work in progress, but at least it looks Chrismasy now! :) I need to figure out some other things, but I think I need my dear sister's help with that--she's so technologically savvy! :) :)

We are encountering a strange, wintery mix. It's hailing, snowing and raining all at the same time. Strange, I know--I don't know how else to describe it. The roads are a mess and only 7 of us managed to get into work this morning in my department. Oh...I guess I should be working and not doing my blog! :)

We are very much looking forward to spending all of Christmas and New Year with our families. It'll be a special time. A season of healing, excitment as we look ahead to what God has next for us and a time of simply relishing in the love and blessings God has for us, His children. I haven't sent out Christmas cards this year. With all the commotion of moving (not even sure where they are right now...) and just trying to get ourselves back on track with life, I felt it was one thing I didn't need to do this year. I have, however, found how much I miss doing it and just how much I ENJOY doing it! BUT! Next year, hopefully, we'll be back on track and ready to have a good ol' newsy letter to go along with it! :)

I hope you and your family have a VERY merry Christmas and a VERY happy New Year!
MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Texas sheet cake

I'm sitting here at my desk thinking of my mom because I'm eating a Texas sheet cake, her absolute favorite dessert! :) I'll eat a piece for you Mom! :) :) It's YUMMY! :)

It's been a whirlwind of a last few days for David and I. Thursday night I was only a block from work when a man ran a stop sign, and I plowed right into him. Talk about frightening! When I opened my eyes I was facing the opposite direction and realized my airbags had deployed and were now smoking and filling the car with white powder. I opened the door and swung my legs out so I could get fresh air, and all I could think about was the baby. I was praying fervently that she was OK and alive and not at all harmed. Police, EMTs and a fire truck quickly arrived. I was asked by a policeman if I would like to sit in his warm car, sure, so I did. David arrived and we both just clung to each other and cried. We were relieved that I was alive and didn't appear to be hurt, but both very much afraid that the baby was not alive and so unsure as to what our night would hold--sorrow or happiness? I was taken to the hospital via ambulance, hooked up to an IV, blood drawn, etc. They took my vitals again at the hospital while David checked me in. He came back to be with me as they were getting ready to find the baby's heartbeat. Thump, thump, thump, thump!!!!!!!!!!!! What a beautiful sound!!!!!! We were both estatic and couldn't speak we were so thankful she was alright! Our evening was going to be filled with joy! I was admitted to the hospital for the night just to keep a watch on the baby, and after a terrible night's sleep I was released the next day with a clean bill of health for me and the baby. Praise God from Whom ALL blessings flow. I cannot express to you the relief we both feel knowing that I'm not only OK but so is the baby.

Friday was a very frustrating day as we dealt with car insurance. And, due to a mix-up of our understanding/their lack of explanation we were told we will not be getting anything in return for our totaled car. Ah, the joys of a "no fault" state. Funny how the law protects the one who IS at fault. We have calmed down a bit from that shocking news and are now trying to figure out what to do about a second vehicle. We are not without options right now, but want to be sure to choose the right option. This has turned into an expensive lesson, one we hope to never have to repeat!!! We will be sure to ask LOTS of questions and be ABUNDANTLY clear as to what we're protected for, etc. And we will no longer be using State Farm Insurance. Some neighbor, as my husband said!!!

I'm posting a photo of the car so you can see it. It's terrible, my poor, little car, but it is MOST important that I and the baby are fine.

The wonders of shag carpet

We have settled in quite nicely to our new, temporary home. We continue to be blessed by the church who owns this little parsonage. It's not as nice as the other one we had been living in for 3 years, but who cares?!? It's full of love and the people are generous and wanting to just be of help. It's a much better situation! We have a wonderful greenish/yellow shag carpet in our bedroom. It's been interesting living with that! :) There are many quirks to the house, but it all pales in comparison to the feeling of NO stress that we feel. God's blessings never end.

A man from our previous church (incidentally, his father was a preacher at Bankers too, long ago and was forced to resign as well) called David and said he had shot us a deer and as soon as it was processed would be bringing us ALL of the meat!!!!!! WOW!!!! We feel so blessed by that! We'll have a ton of meat and probably won't have to buy any for a long time. We have received many such blessings from the Lord and continue to marvel at the healing He is providing us through his children.

David has been in PA this week meeting with 4 different churches. He met with 2 last night and will meet the other 2 today. So far, the meetings have been good and encouraging. It's great to hear my husband encouraged. We're thankful for the area minister in NW PA who is taking all this time to help us along.

We hope to know Friday what day David will have gall bladder surgery. No one wants surgery, but I think David will be quick to get in line for this one! He's been so miserable that right now surgery is a good thing. We're both hoping surgery happens early next week to give him time to recuperate before Christmas. Hopefully, he'll be able to enjoy eating Christmas dinner now!

We continue to strive forward and hold fiercely to the hand of our Lord. He is guiding us and directing us and his love and mercies are new every morning. I would encourage you to take time today to think of the ways God has blessed you today, this week, this month. It's amazing when you start looking. God is good.

Phew! It's done!

We are OUT of our old house and into the new one now. Thanks to my wonderful husband and mom-in-law we have had a speedy move out of the old place. Though we now have to unpack some of our things so we can live (and make Christmas cookies! :) ) we're done and out and it's a wonderful feeling. Yesterday I left what had been our home for almost 3 years, and I cried. Not because I was sad that it was my last time leaving for work from that house but sad because of what it all means. Sad to be closing a chapter on our life that didn't end the way we would have liked for it to have ended.

God is so good, though. Our "new" home is just what we need. We're now in the little area of Osseo, in another parsonage that actually sits even CLOSER to the church then what we've been living, but it's no big deal! There are a lot of quirky things in the house (like, it appears light switches were an after-thought as they are not at all in logical places, and the only way to get upstairs is to go through the downstairs bedroom) but we're so thankful to be there, so thankful for the generous folks at the Osseo church to offer it to us and are only ask that we pay for utilities and whatever (little) we can afford for "rent." They have been so helpful to us--the house was clean, warm and the fridge was turned on. They have said to us through this whole process they're just glad they can help. Wow. When you're not used to Christian behavior it's even sweeter when you do experience it. They have been a true God-send to us, and we are so very thankful for them. If you think about it, pray for these kind folks and ask the Lord's blessings on them today.

I think we have most of the things done that need to be done when moving locations. The TV guy is coming out today to hook us up! :) We were "forced" into conversation last night! :) :) I had to chuckle...

I'm so thankful for my husband and mom-in-law. They're slaving away with packing, unpacking and cleaning the old house while I sit at my cushy office job. My husband has done little things to help me transition better. He made sure to get out our Advent candle holder and put the candles in it so we can use it despite the chaos going on around us. He put our bed together and my mom-in-law put all the sheets and bedspread on it so it was done and ready when I got home last night. Though the downstairs bedroom is awkwardly placed, my husband thought about his pregnant wife who gets up a lot during the night to potty and knew it wouldn't be good for me to climb up/down the stairs. These are just a couple things that are sticking out for me right now. They are dear and wonderful people.

I'm thankful for the rest of our family, who have upheld us in prayers, called us regularly to check up on us. We couldn't be getting through this w/out all of them (you!). The same is true of our friends. God is embracing us through the arms and words of those who love us. Thank you for allowing yourself to be used in this manner. We are also not completely forgotten by folks at our "old" church. Those who loved us (and have also left the church) have been checking up on us and praying for us and offering help with moving, etc. God is so good to us all the time.

I hope to take some photos of our new digs this weekend and will hopefully get them posted on here! :) Until then, have a happy day!!

Boxes, boxes and more boxes

Life has changed drastically for David and I the last few weeks. Two weeks ago David (and I) made the decision to resign from the church he' been serving for the past almost 3 years. It was a decision we did not come to quickly, or happily, or anything like that. It was an agonizing decision, one made through lots of prayer, many sleepless nights, lots of talking. It was a decision that affected many in the church--some have stayed, many have left. The exact reasons and "what went down" does not matter. What matters is it's not always easy to be obedient. It hasn't been an easy 3 years here at this church, making it hard to be obedient in staying sometimes. However, we always knew this is where God wanted us. And as hard as it was to stay at times, it was even harder to leave. Why would this be hard? Well, because, by leaving we know we're leaving these people to deal with their dysfunction. I suppose that's not entirely true. Over the past 3 years David and the deacons have been diligently preaching the Word to the people in the church, opening their eyes to the extreme dysfunction here. But, due to a small faction of troublemakers, the church as a whole choose to listen the screaming minority (as they have for 40 years) rather than what God was clearly telling them through Scripture and his servants. It's sad. What will come of those who have chosen to stay? What will come to those who chose to leave? 

We have gone through anger, joy at being released, uncertainty for the future, grief of leaving a life we've known for 3 years, hurt, trust in the Father who lead us to this church, lead us through the valley and has now lead us out of it. How do you help a grieving husband, who put his whole heart, life and soul into a group of people, only to find out they told horrible lies and are now reverting back to their old ways? How do you stop caring for a group of people you've cared for entirely for 3 years? How do you move on from here? How do you heal from these things? So many questions, and not many answers right now. But, we keep on trusting because it's God who is always faithful to us, and He hasn't failed us yet so why would he start now? We know our decision to move on was the right one, was one in which God guided us to make. We're learning that integrity and courage are HARD and not very popular all the time. However, God is good and takes care of his children. 

So, what now? Where do we go from here? Well, in the immediate future we're packing and moving (with the help of David's mom--YEAH!) to another church's empty parsonage. Since I still have my job, we'll stay here in Hillsdale until David is able to find something else. He had an interview over Thanksgiving, has another one coming up in December and there are several other areas that we have yet to make contact. We know he'll find something and are trusting the Lord to guide and direct us to the next place He would have us serve. We're excited at the prospect of going to a HEALTHY church. Wow!!  What will we do with ourselves? Do we expect perfection? Of course not!! We know better than that, after all, we're all imperfect people, aren't we? :) But, we HAVE come to realize that being imperfect and being unhealthy are 2 different things. 

I will keep you updated as we know more. Right now, we're so looking forward to having a stress "free" Christmas, a time we'll be able to celebrate with our families without having to fight with the piano player as to what day the Christmas Eve service should be...No, I'm not kidding.  I hope you're able to find some rest and solitude in this Christmas season. 

Do YOU read my blog?

Ok, I have been debating about whether or not to keep doing a blog. I mean, how many people actually read it? I know my mom, sister, my aunt Cathy and Sue for sure, but other than that, who else? And, if it's just these 4 people then what's the point? You already know everything I post anyway! :) With email and facebook it's kinda hard to find OTHER things to write about on here. So, if you read this blog, please let me know. I'm not creative like my sister and won't be offering any gift box, this is for purely selfish reasons and curiosity! :)

Thanks for letting me know! :)

1/2 way done!

It's hard to believe but I'm 1/2 way through my pregnancy! Where has the time gone? There have been moments I didn't think it would EVER come to pass, but as I look back I see that time has flown on by. I'm attaching a photo taken yesterday so you can see the belly growing progress! :) We find out this week if we're having a boy or girl. We don't care either way, though I've thought the whole time it's a boy. We shall see! :) The baby is currently about 3/4 of a lb and 10 1/2 inches long--I'm told as long as a carrot! :) The kicking is supposed to start getting stronger now, which should be fun--I'm hoping this month David will be able to feel the baby move. 

I'll let you know Wednesday if we're having a boy of girl!

Growing over night????

Well, I feel like every morning when I wake up I'm BIGGER! This morning David even mentioned that I am really looking pregnant now. :) It's fun. I love to strut my stuff and for once in my life, not worry about sucking it all in (not that I could anyway!). I'm proud of the belly of mine--also for the first time in my life. :) God has been so good throughout this pregnancy. From my weeks of death (1st 14-15 weeks) to now just dealing with hip pain and indigestion (I'll take this any day to the nausea!!). Last night as I was eating supper I realized that I have eaten a large amount of French toast in the last several weeks. Must be another craving! :) I have always like French toast, but have never eaten it as often as I do now (about 2-3 times a week). Funny! :) Anyway, I don't know if it's possible to actually be growing larger over night, but I sure do feel like I am! I am in week 19 this week and very exctied to see if we'll be having a boy or girl. My ultrasound is scheduled for teh 19th...1 1/2 more weeks I guess. Ah well! :) We can wait, we have no other choice, huh?

I'm craving what???????

They always say that pregnant women will crave strange things. I have come to think it's only strange to that particular woman because I think we crave (or don't crave) things that are only odd to us. For instance, it wasn't until a couple weeks ago that I could truly stomach the idea/taste of sweet things. Even some fruits were too sweet! This is odd for me because I LOVE sweets--cake, brownies, ICE CREAM--but for 4 months of my pregnancy I didn't even like looking at them. Now that I'm in my 2nd trimester/18th week/5th month, however you want to say it, I have found a new love for...MCDONALDS!!!!!!!!! WHAT IN THE WORLD????? Now, some of you might not think this is strange at all, seeing as how you may just love McDonald's. It's VERY strange for me because as a general rule I pretty much hate fast food and McDonald's is at the top of that list! So, my husband is certainly excited for this craving! :) He loves fast food! I told him to enjoy it while it lasts because post pregnancy is coming and I'm guessing so is the passing of this strange craving. What do I want when I go to McDonald's? Well, I started with their snack wraps and have now been in love with the hamburgers and I can't eat unless I have a big cup of SWEET ICED TEA!!! I have always loved sweet tea, but I have a new found love for it now! :) Anyway, both David and I find it hilarious and strange all at the same time that I am craving, of all things, McDonald's. Thankfully, we do practice restraint and don't go everyday, but maybe a couple times a week...

I have found that though there are lots of wonderful things about being pregnant there are just so many strange things that go on with your body. My nose has been dripping like a faucet for a month now. I have woken up many nights with drool seeming to be POURING out my mouth. I'm a waddler already and don't even realize I'm doing it, but my hips and back have never been so tender/sore. My face is nice and clear--this is a huge positive! :) One day I want to eat something and the next day it's as though I'm being offered worms (although I have learned this week that some pregnant women actually crave eating DIRT!). One moment I'm gleefully happy, laughing hysterically, only to be sobbing the next and not knowing WHY on EARTH I'm doing it. I go from being VERY excited to have this baby to being VERY terrified at the thought of pushing a human out of me. The level of forgetfulness that has come upon me is literally mind-numbing! David has marveled at how forgetful I have become. We've been a mess because I'm usually the one who has to remember everything, and well, now we're both forgetful. Who are you? Why am I in the bathroom (yes, I have gone to the bathroom to pee and have forgotten WHY I was there...). I laugh and tell David that when the baby comes out I'll look at him and remember all the things I forgot over the last 9 months! :)

But, despite all these crazy changes I marvel at the thought that I get to grow a human being inside of me and be a part of one of the greatest miracles that can happen in one's life. I have always hoped I could be pregnant around Christmas time so I could have a better understanding of what Mary was going through. I won't be "great with child" in 2 months, but I will have a child inside and wow! To be able to connect with her on this level is amazing! I can now understand her joy, fear, trust in God that carrying a child brings (granted, I'm not carrying the son of GOD, but still, I think you get the point! And, carrying the son/daughter of DAVID is pretty fabulous too! :) :) ). Last night David and I were saying how amazing it will be to HOLD our baby and meet him/her for the very first time. To look into his/her face and know that he/she is truly OURS, we did this (with a lot of help from God, obviously). I get down often, thinking of all the housework that needs to get done and David always says, "Stop worrying. You're growing our child. What more do you need to do?" Wow. I have a wonderful husband, a man I have grown to love EVEN more through this whole process.

Pressing On

The song below, by Selah, is a good one, to say the least! I'm so glad God has gifted others to write such beautiful songs so as to minister to the rest of us! I would say this song puts into words David and I can't seem to find in regards to how things have been for us the last several months. I hope this song can be an encouragement to you too! If you have this CD, get it out and listen to it. Let the words and music minister to your soul. All we can often do is press on in Jesus' name. I hope you're able to find the strength to press on today.

Press On

Selah

When the mountain is steep

when the valley is deep

when the body is weary

when we stumble and fall

When the choices are hard

when we're battered and scarred

when we've spent our resource

when we've given our all

In Jesus name we press on

In Jesus name we press on

Dear Lord, with the prize

Clear before our eyes

We find the strength to press on

Lemons to lemonade?

I hate cliches! They're a bit ridiculous if you ask me. They're not overly comforting when you're hurting or grieving and they always make me feel like I'm not creative enough to come up with something better. So, I guess I could say something like cocoa powder to chocolate cake! :) I like that much better, but really, it's just a variation on a theme. Alas...I suppose we have to use the dreaded cliche every now and again.

It's no hidden thing that David and I have been dealing with a lot lately. We still are and though we're still very much in the valley it appears God is beginning to give us a glimmer of hope and is starting to show us the door he has opened for us. It's just cracked right now, we can't really see where it's leading, but we are so glad that God is starting to reveal his plan to us.

We spent Friday and Saturdy in South Haven, MI. What a beautiful, little town. It sits on Lake Michigan and they've done a good job downtown to make it welcoming and appealing to visitors. We enjoyed our time, walking in the crisp, autumn air and going into shops that we weren't interested in purchasing anything from. It was nice to get away and be away from the craziness that has been our life for what seems way too long! It's always good to get away.

I am so thankful for my husband. He's a good man, a man who desires to follow his Lord, a man who cares for me and our baby. I can trust him with anything and though he knows all my horrible weaknesses he loves me inspite of them. I only hope I'm able to show him the same lind of love! I have decided that trials can pull people apart or bring them together. Thankfully, through all the ups and downs we have learned to rely on Christ and also each other. We've learned alot about ourselves and each other--how to care for each other and encourage each other. Of course, this will be a life-long thing, but I am so thankful that what we have been through has only served to bring us closer to Christ and each other.

The Battle Belongs to the Lord

We have felt for a while now that we have been in battle, but it hasn't been until the last week or so that we felt we were on the front line!! We are so thankful for a God who works miraculously and takes care of his children. We have felt the presence of the Lord so much these past few weeks. It's been amazing!

I have finally been able to start wearing maternity clothes!!!! Woohoo!!! :) I know, all you experienced moms probably don't think it's so exciting, but I do! :) People say I'm starting to show now, which is also fun. I need to take a 4 month photo and post it. Each week I feel better. I'm so thankful for that!!! I've been eating more and cooking more (much to my husband's excitment!). The vitamins are going and staying down. All these things I know are helping me feel so much better. Today we had a little birthday celebration for someone in the office and I was even able to eat cake! WOW!! :) It's been a long time since I've had sweets. I'm sure my body is going into sugar shock! :) :) :) This week the baby is about 4 1/2 inches long, the size of an avacado. I'm supposed to be starting to feel it move soon. I think I have been...it's hard to tell.

Fall is upon us. The weather is cooling down, the trees are doing their thing. I do love fall. It's so pretty out. I hope your fall season is a good one as we prepare to hunker down for winter! :)

Praises!!!!

It would appear that I have definitely come over the hump of feeling sick!!! I am on day 3 of feeling good, even when I wake up in the morning! I had been told at my last dr appointment that I needed to start taking my prenatal vitamins this week. I have to say, I was scared!!! The last attempts had not been successful, so I wasn't sure what to think. However, I have come home each day from work, eaten a good meal (lovingly prepared by my mom-in-law), taken my vitamin and have had NO ill effects from the food or pill!!!!!! PRAISE THE LORD!!!!! I am so thankful for that! I can't praise him enough! I seem to be getting some energy back too (I'm sure eating more and taking the vitamins are certainly helping in that area) for which I'm so glad. Maybe this pregnancy thing won't be so horrible afterall! :) I would like to enjoy at least some of it!

The baby is currently about 4 1/2 inches long now and weighs about as much as an apple or orange. Funny to think about comparing my child to fruit! :) He/she is sensitive to light. Apparently, if I were to shine a flashlight to my belly the baby would move away from it! How fascinating!! He/she is also able to move it's joints and though I think I have already felt him/her move I will begin to feel it very soon on a regular basis. This whole pregnancy thing is so amazing. If you set aside how awful you can feel the 1st trimester it's truly miraculous to think about all that is going on in there. What a mighty and powerful God we have! He created giant animals like elephants, but he's also delicately creating a human being inside of me. A human who right now is so fragile but growing daily. I really can't find the words to describe how amazing I find all of this. It's beyond words, really.

I trust today is one filled with HIS love for you! I hope you have a very blessed day today!

Amazing Grace, My Chains are GONE!

Good morning Readers! As you know, we have been going through a lot recently--both good and bad. The good being the baby and all that entails. The bad, well, other things. I'm not particularly discouraged today, but I must have needed an extra boost from the Lord this morning. As I was driving to work I decided to listen to my Chris Tomlin CD rather than the Christian radio station yak about their sharathon! I'm glad I did. David and I have LOVED Chris' rendition of "Amazing Grace." It has spoken to us many a time and this morning was no exception for me. I've heard it numerous times and I thought, well, this morning I'll sing along. With tears coming to my eyes I was unable to utter a word. I was so engrossed in the amazing grace that my Father has for me, you, anyone who will accept it. I've copied the words here. It's an old familiar hymn with a few new words. Let them soak in, let the Lord bathe you in his unending mercy and grace this morning. It doesn't matter how long you've known the Lord or maybe you're not a Christian yet, but the words are powerful, and I dare you to read them and leave unchanged today!

Amazing Grace (My Chains are Gone)

Chris Tomlin

Amazing grace

How sweet the sound

That saved a wretch like me

I once was lost, but now I'm found

Was blind, but now I see

'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear

And grace my fears relieved

How precious did that grace appear

The hour I first believed

My chains are gone

I've been set free

My God, my Savior has ransomed me

And like a flood His mercy reigns

Unending love, Amazing grace

The Lord has promised good to me

His word my hope secures

He will my shield and portion be

As long as life endures

The earth shall soon dissolve like snow

The sun forbear to shine

But God, Who called me here below

Will be forever mine

Will be forever mine

You are forever mine

Some encouragement

Well, I've noticed that my blogs have been rather depressing as of late. I apologize, to you, my readers! I guess it shows you how down, sick, discouraged, etc. I've been feeling. But! Time for some better news!!!!

I think I am out of the "weeks of death" as I have come to call my 1st trimester. My husband thinks I'm being melodramatic, but that's only because he's never been pregnant! :) There were days I truly did feel at death's door. Phew!!! Glad that seems to be over! I don't feel perfect, but I do feel much better and am able to eat more, which is a HUGE improvement! I was even able to dust and vacuum this weekend!!!!! I feel very proud of myself for that accomplishment! I should be about 15 weeks this week. It's amazing to me the development that has happened so far in this little person's life. He/she has fingerprints, can frown, is moving around (I felt it move yesterday!!!), has a gender and is about the size of a lemon! WOW!! A lot has happened in it's short 15-week life. I go for my next appt today, which David and I are both very much excited for. We'll have another ultrasound, which will be so cool!!

Church was very encouraging yesterday. David did a different thing during our usual praise/prayer time. We were to find someone we didn't know too well, share a prayer request and pray for each other. It wasn't but a few minutes, but it was a special time and he only heard good comments about it! After church we had a prayer time FOR the church led by one of our deacons. We weren't expecting many to participate but had 20 people there!!!! Truly amazing! God wants to do big things in this church if they'll just let him. No hand grenades from the trouble-makers, which always makes for a much better Sunday. Thank you Jesus for that!!!

Today we get a dishwasher put in the house (parsonage)!!!!!!! I couldn't be more excited about that! Woohoo!!! Someone in the church asked what we would like to have and I immediately said a dishwasher, she took it to the trustees and well, they approved it and we're getting it installed today. I'm so happy!! This will be such a huge help! No more dishpan hands! :) :)

I hope you are feeling encouraged in the Lord today. He is a great God, even when life is throwing us lemons. I'm so thankful for his faithfulness.

God will make a way

God will make a way,

When there seems to be no way.

He works in ways we cannot see.

He will make a way for me.

He will be my guide, hold me closely to his side,

With love and strength for each new day.

He will make a way.

This has always been one of my favorite choruses. There is so much truth in it, simple truth. Truth, I think, we often forget. Sometimes life throws a lot of things at you at once, and you just don't know what to do with them. Right now that is happening in our life. As a wife I ache for my husband and the injustice that is being sent his way. I have to take off my pastor's wife hat right now and concentrate on simply being a wife. I want to go to the people who are making my husband's life miserable right now and give them a HUGE piece of my mind. I want to rant and rave and yell and say nasty things to them just as they have my husband. To be honest I don't want to be a Christian to them. I want to unleash my humaness on them and then see what they say. Sigh...alas, I can't do that. I won't do that. Why? Because I'm a Christian first, then a wife, then a pastor's wife. We all know it never does any good to through gas on a fire. We know that all our lives we've told to be kind to others, don't answer in anger, do unto others...Why are we told those things? Because that's what Christ tells us to do. A gentle answer turns away wrath. Our Lord didn't go human on those that treated him injustly. Rather, he took the abuse and persecution silently, only speaking the truth back when he had to. Aren't we to follow his example? Yes, we are. But! They're being so mean and nasty to David, doesn't that count for something? I suppose, in this world it does, but as a Christian I'm to look to CHRIST'S example and follow that. It's not easy, though, is it? Why is it that doing the right thing can be so hard?

So, as a Christian, a wife, a pastor's wife, what do I do? I hold my husband as he collapses in tears and bewilderment. I hold him close and tell him it's all going to be OK. I tell him how proud I am that he is standing up for what's right and not letting these bullies push him around. I pray for him to have wisdom--God promises to give generously to all who ask for it. I pray that this experience doesn't destroy my husband but that it'll only make him stronger. I pray.

Right now things are cloudy, they don't make sense, we feel our world is spiraling out of control. But, I have to remember that it's all crystal clear in God's eyes. It makes sense to him, he has everything under control. I have to remember that He's a faithful God and has never left me (us) or forsaken us. He's always been there for us. And, He WILL guide us and direct us and make our path known to us. If you think about it, please pray with us today. We would sure appreciate it.

Getting Better?

I have been doing much better this week. It seems I may be taking a turn for the BETTER!!!! I'm very happy about that. I don't feel great, but I don't feel overwhelmingly sick either--praise the Lord!!!!!!! I am really hoping and praying that all continues on in this vein and that this next trimester will be much better. That's right, can you believe I'm about to start my 2nd trimester???? WOW!! The individual days went slowly, but looking back, it seems time has just sped on by!

This week David has been in WI at his bi-yearly conference at Greenlake Conference Center. I'm so glad he's been able to go. It came at a good time for him. Things have been so stressful at church, I've been sick, I think it's good he's having a chance to get 3 good meals a day AND be encouraged! :) I do miss him, though. It's been a long week with him gone. I know, I'm such a sap, but isn't that the way marriage is supposed to be? I mean my better half is gone!! I think it's perfectly natural to feel lost w/out your spouse around. On a lighter note, though, my parents came up yesterday to help me with cleaning and cooking. My wonderful mom is scouring my house today. Only a mother could do that! :) She's also going to make up some meals for freezing so David and I will have stuff to eat, and I won't have to cook a ton. This will especially be good for David since I'm still eating like a bird. My dad doesn't like to just sit around so he's going to paint our dining room chairs for us! :) Thanks Mom and Dad! You're the best!!!!!

I am SO looking forward to the weekend. I'm always EXHAUSTED by Friday, though I think this is the 1st week I've worked my full hours and didn't go home early. YEAH!!!

I hope you have a very restful and blessed weekend!

Long time, no write

I know I haven't written in quite some time. I apologize for that. My life has consisted of finding the strength to do anything and praying that God will just get me through the day. Eating has proven to be a HUGE chore, something I dread to do, but know I must. The only thing that has been consistently good to me are mashed potatoes. Don't know why, but that's the way it is! Cereal, my favorite food, has become not so favorite as I've rid myself of it on several occasions now. Sigh...will it ever end? I know it will, but right now, it seems that I'm destined to live this way forever! Even taking communion at church yesterday was a ginormous chore. Thankfully, the Lord knows and knows I wasn't trying to be disrespectful. 

On a much happier note...I had my first appointment last week on Wednesday! Everything is as it should be and I've even lost 14 lbs!!  Who knew--although I DON'T recommend this diet...We had our first ultrasound and got to hear the HEART BEAT!!!!!!!!!!!  It was so amazing!!!!!! We were both crying!  We also learned that I'm a week ahead of what we thought--which is FINE with me! As of Wed. I was 10 weeks 3 days. Maybe I AM nearing the end of the yuckies? 

I hope this finds you doing well. 

He's Here!

Our dear little nephew, Riley James, was born August 28, 2008 a little after 2 a.m. He weighed 9 lbs and was 20 inches long! Mom and baby are doing great! We are dying to see him (even some photos!!!!) and won't get to see him until Sunday! He'll practically be grown by then! :) :) :) We are so excited and happy for this newest addition to our family!

Thank you Jesus for little Riley!

A Good Norm?

Is it ever a good thing when puking becomes a routine and expected part of your day? I don't think so, but that has become my life. I am into week 8 now and am PRAYING daily that when I get to the end of this trimester I'll be feeling better. I'm ready to start feeling some of those good things about being pregnant! :) The baby is the size of a kidney bean this week, about 5/8 of an inch. It's remarkable to me how it is developing and changing and growing so much just in a week's time! The eyelids are formed, the fingers are more defined and not just little webs. It's just so miraculous to me, and I can't even fathom how someone can think we just happened. Or, to think that this little miracle isn't worth anything and can be easily discarded like a dirty kleenex. (OK, opinion alert!!) Birth truly is a miracle! Though I've been sick, miserable, losing weight (this is a positive if you ask me!!), being grossed out by the simplest of smells, I have been trying (operative word here...) to see the miracle that is taking place inside of me. I'm trying to focus on that and not the constant nausea. God is good. I have made it through 2/3 of this trimester w/out incident. I go in for my 1st appointment next Wed and am so excited to hear what the doctor has to say. I'm praying for a good report and that everything is going along as it's supposed to! :) It'll also be nice to get a better due date than just "early April," though I don't think it'll change much from that.

Well, I will close for now, praying you find the "little" miracles to be astounding to you today!

The Steadfast Love of the Lord

The steadfast love of the Lord never changes.

His mercies never come to an end.

They are new every morning,

New every morning.

Great is Thy faithfulness, O Lord!

Great is Thy faithfulness!

I love this song. The tune is soothing to the ears and heart, the words are soothing to the soul. Though I'm having another bad day physically, I am reminded of His steadfast love, and that He is FAITHFUL and his mercies never end. I have to remind myself of these things often. I couldn't keep breakfast down today. But, I have managed to get a few crackers and yogurt down. I find that merciful from our Father.

I am missing 2 wonderful ladies today. First, my grandma, Barbara Jean Russell. She is my Grandpa's first wife of over 50 years. She and I were so much alike. Not liking to show our true emotions and preferring to hide behind a tough exterior then to appear vulnerable. But, having lots of love to give. She was a woman who loved a good joke and laughed easily at things she found delightful. The other woman is Hanna Rork Russell, my Grandpa's 2nd wife of almost 2 yrs. She is in heaven with Barbara and I want more than anything to tell them in person that they will have another great-grandbaby. I know they would both be ecstatic and so proud and joyful! They would also be able to comiserate on feeling so yucky and would offer HELPFUL information and above all would keep me and this little one in their prayers. Both of these women taught me that God is FAITHFUL!!!! There's no questioning that. Life may not always be sunshine and roses and our health may not always be what we would like, but GOD IS FAITHFUL! This is a promise we MUST hold onto.

These beautiful women will never hold my babies this side of heaven, but, I somehow can't help but wonder if they know anyway and are jumping for joy in heaven and praising our Father for this little blessing.

The steadfast love of the Lord never changes...

End in sight?

Sigh...it's been a rough week. This morning has been especially so. Not knowing when it will end is probably what makes it worse. I am reminded daily of my need for HIM! Only with Christ's help can I get through this. There's no other way. And, I can't do this without my husband. He has been a complete and total gem and blessing to me. I know I haven't been a great wife, I know that things aren't as we're used to, but he doesn't complain, he just cooks supper, endures his wife's inability to eat it and does the dishes as well as other household chores. Thank you David! I am blessed to have such a wonderful husband. I would appreciate prayer today. Pray that this baby continues to grow healthy despite my inability to eat seemingly anything. Pray I have the strength to get through this day at work. And pray for David as he serves and ministers to me.

Can I do it?

Yesterday was a bad day of morning/all day sickness. Even my Saltines didn't want to go down. It was a rough day, I only made it at work for 1/2 a day and slept the afternoon away at home. I woke up feeling rotten, hungry, not sure what to eat and knew I had to pull myself together for Bible study that night. I climbed into bed last night and just cried with my husband, stating that I don't know if I can do this. I know, it's a bit late for that, but still, I didn't know I could feel so rotten. My dear husband rubbed my back (which is starting to ache a bit now), kissed my head and said, "Of course you can do it, Honey." I'm glad he's so sure because right now I'm having my doubts! My earnest prayer is that I don't feel this way throughout my whole pregnancy. I know many who have felt terrible the whole time, and I'm SO praying that I'm not one of them. I know if I am God will give me the strength I need. I have been singing the following song a lot lately. It's always been one of my favorites. I'm sure you know it too!

You are my strength when I am weak,
You are the treasure that I seek.
You are my all in all.
Seeking you as a precious jewel,
Lord to give up, I'd be a fool.
You are my all in all.

Chorus:
Jesus, Lamb of God,
Worthy is your name!
Jesus, Lamb of God,
Worthy is your name!

When I fall down you pick me up,
When I am dry you fill my cup.
You are my all in all...

What beautiful words!!!! They have always been an encouragement to me and they are so true now in this chapter of life that I'm into. I hope that today you can find Him to be your ALL IN ALL!

The Smells of Africa

As you may know, I have lived 10 years of my life in Africa. Eight of those years was as a child in Zaire (now known as the Democratic Republic of the Congo) and two years as an adult in Cameroon. I visited several other countries in Africa during those 10 years: Kenya, Uganda, Central African Republic and Equatorial Guinea. I have seen poverty and beauty in every part. I have seen children running around with bloated bellies due to malnutrition, and I have seen babies who were perfectly healthy. I have seen the beauty of God's creation in plants, animals, birds. I have tasted MANY foods I loved and miss dreadfully and some I'm OK with never having again! I miss mangoes, papaya, and apple bananas. I miss the simpler way of life, I miss seeing millions of stars every night and hearing rain on the tin roof. What brings on all this reminiscing? This morning as I stepped out the door to come to work the air outside, for some reason, smelled like Africa. Isn't it interesting how smells can take us immediately back to something? Someone was, or had been burning wood and that combined with the newness of morning made me feel like if I looked up I'd see a palm tree waving in the breeze. Alas, no, I'm here in Hillsdale, but it was a pleasant memory nonetheless. The photo above was taken in Cameroon one morning. Just a piece of my African home.

Death and New Life

It's been a whirlwind the last few weeks. It seems life just never knows when to slow down!! We were called back to Akron last week for another funeral. This time it was David's Uncle John (his step mom's twin brother). It was all very sudden and unexpected. It was the last thing we expected to hear on Tues. morning when we found out. We headed down TH morning, got to my parent's house and went to visitation that evening. The funeral was Friday morning, followed by a nice dinner. The legacy of Uncle John is a wonderful one! You could not leave the funeral without knowing he was a man who loved the Lord and his family. We hated being in Akron for another sad time, but it was good to see family you don't often get to see, even if for a sad occasion.

It's time I announce that I am pregnant!!!!! I've had my suspicions for a few weeks now and last Sunday it was confirmed when the test turned positive in less than 10 seconds! :) We are, of course ECSTATIC and can't wait to hold this wee one in our arms come April. I'm feeling quite sick. I "finally" threw up this morning. I'm really hoping it won't be an all-day thing, so far so good. Saltine crackers and water are my new best friends. Strange the things one's body goes through. There is so much change even now. I have, of course, become exceedingly emotional, much to my husbands perplexity as to how to deal with his now overly-dramatic, crying wife. Pray for him. He's really stepped up to the plate, helping around the house, etc, but I know my feeling sick and out of sorts will wear on him, as it will on me. I am currently 6 weeks along and according to babycenter.com my baby is the size of a lentil bean! :) Oh, and it's heart is starting to beat now!!!!!! SO amazing!!!!!

Praise God for his MANY, MANY wonderful blessings!

Turf Wars and Captain Jackson

What? Turf wars in little Bankers/Hillsdale? Yep, that's right! Turf wars! :) Ok, so it's not between people but rather it's between BIRDS!!!!! Yesterday when I got home from work I put Molly outside and realized she had discovered a baby bird in the grass. After torturing the poor thing we were able to pull her away. A few hours later we put her out again. This time we heard a lot of chirping and carrying on so we went outside to see that Molly had found the bird again and now the adults were swooping down on her, etc. David heroically scoops the bird up, and tries to get it back in the tree. I then see this adult robin swoop down, zoom through the tree only to have 2 more baby birds fall out of the tree!!!! We then discover (oh, the bird pooped on David...I tried not to laugh, but have to admit it was kinda funny) that actually the birds aren't trying to attack the dog, but are in fact attacking each other. It was like something out of Alfred Hitchcock's movie "The Birds!" We took the dog back inside and waited until they were done warring before putting her back out. Yikes!!! Who knew birds could be so territorial?

On to other bird news! :) I was talking to my sister on the phone last night and she said that Sophia asked her dad to "catch a cardinal and cook it up for supper!" When he said no, she suggested they eat crow instead! :) Where does she come up with this stuff? What a hilarious child she is!! :) :)

On to Captain Jackson? That's right, we have our vary own superhero here in Michigan! I bet you don't! :) :) There is a man who lives in Jackson, MI (about 50 minutes from Hillsdale) who, I'm serious, walks around in tights, undies, cape (like Superman, I guess), all in purple and yellow with a big "J" on his chest! We're not exactly sure WHAT he does, other than walk around, but he'll come to b-day parties, etc if you want, for a small fee, of course! :) I had seen a picture of this man from one of my co-workers, but was still slightly skeptical until...When we went to buy our new bed last Friday we were pulling out of the parking lot only to see CAPTAIN JACKSON!!!!! We couldn't believe our eyes and I wished I'd had my camera! :) Ah, living in small areas...

Here's to turf-warring birds and Captain Jackson!

A Michigan rock is our cornerstone?

I know what you're thinking, how can that be true? How can a rock, painted blue with a yellow "M" on it be the cornerstone of our church? Isn't Jesus supposed to have that position? Well, yes, he is, or so David and I thought until today.  Let me give you a little back ground first and then I'll continue on...

See, we live in MI and well, in this part of the world it's not "acceptable" to be an Ohio State fan! :)  But, David and I (being from OH and WV) ARE OSU fans and are proud to be so.  We're not extreme about it or anything but it's just something fun to be during the fall when everyone else around us is a U of M fan. Well, up until about a year ago, this was a fun thing we had with the church people. David and the congregants would tease each other, gloat accordingly, etc. For his b-day last year David was presented with a really nice OSU, laser cut, rock to put in the flower bed. It was a nice gesture and we promptly put it in our flower bed to display proudly. It wasn't long after this gift a rock, painted blue with a yellow "M" found it's way to the flower bed. We thought it was funny, just a continuation of the usual joking. We would hide it, it'd come back, etc.  After time we just stopped fighting it, things got difficult at church and it didn't seem worth our effort to continue any teasing/joking with rocks or anything else.  

As time has continued I decided I had had enough of the rock and so have hidden it under the front porch. It was immediately noticed that it was missing. Where could it be?  David has been questioned and one even accused him of lying because "there was no way your wife could've moved it!" HA!!  :)  We just dropped it and didn't think anything of it until this morning when I was verbally attacked by one man about the whereabouts of the rock. I calmly (and with as much humor as I could muster) said that we weren't MI fans so figured we'd just hide the rock as I didn't want it in my flower bed. I was promptly told it's not OUR yard and I had no right to do that.  I said sure I did, it is my yard as long as we're here and I didn't like someone just putting things in it.  I was told again that it's NOT my yard, it's the church's and we have enough problems at church without me taking the rock away.  Oh NO!!!!  I didn't know the whole church was going to crumble down now!!!  OK, that was a bit sarcastic, but seriously, readers, isn't this ridiculous?  I mean, really!  The audacity of it all.  

To put it lightly, we are ANGRY!!!!!!!!  This is just one more punch in the gut.  One more indication that we are apparently not welcomed here, by the screaming minority that no one seems to care to stand up to.  Please pray for us if you think about it. We would really appreciate it. Pray that we don't stoop to "their" level and that we live our life in a way that's pleasing to the Lord. 

Oh, and by the way-GO BUCKS! :) :) :) :) 

Good news and concerts in the park

All is fine with both of us! Now it's just a matter of waiting on the Lord's timing. I feel a huge sense of relief. Thank you for your prayers!

Last night was David's first concert with the Hillsdale Wind Ensemble. He plays the baritone saxiphone. We had a good time. We got all settled--spectators and muscians--only to be poured on by rain. After it stopped we all got resettled only to have the skies open again...After another rainshower that was the end and the concert could begin! :) It was a good time. I'm so thankful David has this outlet to be a part of. It gives him something to get his mind off the crazies at church! :)

Short one today...not too much to say!

Do not be anxious for anything...

I'm feeling a bit anxious today. It started last night. I fell asleep thinking about different names to use for our future children. This, I think, only added to my anxiety. As I've mentioned before, David and I have had difficulty conceiving a child. A few weeks ago we both went through some tests and today we find out the results. I'm nervous to know if there's something wrong with one or both of us. I'm nervous to know whether or not having biological children will be a possibility for us. I'm nervous to know what God's plan is for our lives in regard to children. However, I am reminded of the verse in Philippians "do not be anxious for anything..." Hmmm...anything? Really? I can't worry about ANYTHING? Are you sure, God? I mean, not having children is a pretty big thing. Are you sure I can't be anxious about that? Do not be anxious for ANYTHING! Oh, you mean, I can't be anxious for anything? That's right, child, nothing. I'm in control of everything. I have your days numbered, I know how many hairs are on your head. Surely I can take care of this. The other part of the verse says, "but in everthing, by prayer and supplication, present your requests to the Lord." Lord, I ask that we have a child soon, I ask that if I'm not already pregnant, that I would be VERY soon! Lord, David and I want to have children, to raise them to love you and serve you and worship you. Please see fit to answer this prayer with a "yes."

Please be encouraged by this verse. God tells us to be anxoius for nothing, but it's hard to do, isn't it? I mean, there's so much in this life that seems OUT of control. How can God possibly know everything that's happening in MY life, YOUR life, everyone's lives? He's God, that's how. That's what I have to remember He's God and I'm, well, not. He created the heavens and the earth, surely he can create a little person inside of me. He died and rose again on the 3rd day, surely he's capable of working through my humaness and can help me have faith.

Thank you, Lord, for your promises to care for your children. To wipe away our tears, to hold us close. Thank you for the ways you provide for us, and that you never leave us or forsake us. Help my unbelief!!!

Golf, grown men and wayward knives

It's been a few days...don't know why, I guess we've been busy, tired, etc.  Thursday my folks joined us for the weekend. We had a good time with them, we were all tired from the previous weekend so we didn't do much, which was fine with us! 

Friday I went golfing with several other co-workers for our BABES Golf Outing. I guess this is an annual thing for any woman at the College. It was a good time.  I had never golfed before and was pleased with my ability to make contact with the ball, hit it far, and disgusted that I didn't seem able to make the ball go straight! :)  Ah, more practice...

Friday evening and Saturday provided us with opportunity to, again, see how childish grown people (men in the instance) can act. It's amazing that the lessons we learn in Kindergarten are things we're still learning to deal with long after we're through Kindergarten. We always want things done our own way. As a pastor's wife, I've struggled to know how to best support my husband as he deals with these big "kids." I feel like paddling them all, but that wouldn't help any. Sigh...why do we, as grown people act like children?  If our children act this way we send them to their room, take away a privilege, etc. But, somehow, as adults we feel we can act how we want and it's to be accepted. Brother...it's maddening. 

This morning I was separating 2 patties of frozen sausage for David's breakfast and the knife did that job and sliced my hand pretty well.  How could I be so dumb?  I know better.  Now, I have a huge, pretty deep, cut in my hand (right where my pointer finger attaches to my palm) that will take a long time to heal.  Be smarter than me! :) 

I hope you have a great week!  Be encouraged in the Lord this week. 

Life, Death and Everything In Between

We have made it home today, exhausted both physically and emotionally. It has been a long, hectic last several days. On Friday afternoon David, Molly and I headed down to Akron. We went right to Gpa's house, had supper with my aunts, Gpa and parents. David and I stayed the night with Gpa, and he would drift off into stories revolving around Hanna and Barbara--the 2 women he loved. Barbara for 50+ years and Hanna for just about 2. Sunday was visitation, Monday was the funeral. Hanna only wanted the family to go to the cemetery for a very short prayer and then we all headed back to the church for a public celebration of life. It involved singing some of Hanna's favorite hymns, prayer, the pastor saying a small piece and then some sharing favorite memories/stories about Hanna. We finished the time with singing "Great is Thy Faithfulness" which was so bittersweet (refer to a previous blog for reasons).  We had lunch and everyone went their own way.  

We went home, planning to have a b-day celebration for Dad (happy birthday to Dad today!!). It wasn't much of a party as my sister, who is 7 mos pregnant ended up in the hospital with a possible blood clot. none of us were much into partying...Praise the Lord she's fine! but it was a very stressful several hours while we waited to see what was going on. Even Molly, our dog, didn't leave unscathed this weekend. Saturday evening she gets one of her claws caught in my mom's couch, is yelping/crying, blood everywhere, etc.  We opted to just wait to take her to our vet here at home. He ended up taking her nail shell off and she seems to be doing much better. David, too, had trials of his own. Last night we were at the hospital visiting with Jamie and Ruthie and gets very ill himself.  Seems he had a mild (if you call throwing up 7 times mild) case of food poisoning.  Sigh...hopefully the rest of the week will be uneventful...

Praise the Lord for his strength during this difficult times. The photo at the top is from this past Christmas (2007).  It's the Russell family, including David's mom Charlotte. We're missing one more again...

In the Arms of Jesus

Today Hannah Rork Russell went home to her Savior. She is not longer suffering on this earth. I wanted to attach here what my Mom said this morning in an email to us. She gives you a great picture of this wonderful woman who has always been a part of our family.  We are saddened my her leaving us, but joyful to know we'll see her again one day!

Hanna was a beautiful woman. She was someone I always loved even as a child. She and Mr. Rork were always very big supporters of us when we were missionaries. I went to their house a lot when I was a child. She made my wedding dress, she was so excited that I had two little girls. She was always a great friend to my wonderful mom. She understood my mother. NOt too many people did, but Hanna always loved my mom. She was at both of your weddings! She really loved you girls. She loved Sophia so much. She hough the world of Jamie ad David! I am sure she is praising Jesus first then talking with Grandma and telling her all about Sophia! :) they are probably having a good time. Just think, Jesus is there to hear all the stories and rejoicing with his children. I am thinking in my simple mind that they are in a very comfy living room in heaven talking! Jesus is the center with his arms around his children! No more pain, no more cancer, just JOY! God is so good. We can't stop living for Jesus. We have to keep trusting our Lord and telling others about him. This world is so crazy, Jesus is the only answer. He loves each one of us so very much.

The photo above is of Hanna, Grandpa and their 10 daughters (7 are Hanna's, 3 are Grandpa's!).

GREAT IS HIS FAITHFULNESS!!!

Out of the Mouths of Babes

We all know that kids have a way of saying things that make us laugh, think about and really wonder if given the chance we too might say it that way. :) I'm thinking of an instance this past weekend when we were in Ashland with my sister and her family. Our niece (who is 3 1/2) is very verbal, very smart, etc. My sister and brother-in-law are teaching her Bible verses. Currently she has 2 memorized--"Do everything without arguing or complaining" and also "Children obey your parents in the Lord for this is right." Well, Sophia was being a pill Friday morning and not eating her breakfast. My sister calmly asked her what her 1st verse said. Without a beat, Sophia defiantly says, "Do everything WITH arguing and complaing!!!" My sister, said, no that's not right. What does the 2nd one say? Again, Sophia says, "Children, obey your parents in the Lord for this is WRONG!" Oh my...as funny as it was at the time (well, to David and I, Jamie and Ruthie weren't too thrilled :) ), it did cause me to wonder. If I was truly honest would I want to repeat God's words back to him in the same fashion? Don't I still struggle with not arguing/complaining? There are still things in his Word that are a struggle for me and I would really rather just do the opposite. What a joy being a parent is. To mold this young mind/heart to follow the Lord. Easy? NO WAY! I see my sister and brother-in-law and marvel at the wisdom they have to raise their daughter (and soon to be another). I know they pray for that wisdom and pray for guidance and pray for their daughter. It's a daily struggle and joy to raise up a child in the way she/he should go. How precious is this Sophia!! She keeps us laughing with her antics, her ever-flowing chattering, her huge smiles, her hugs and kisses. How is it possible for a little being to have so much love already flowing out of her? What a precious child she is. Thank you Jesus for her!!!

Great is Thy Faithfulness

This weekend David and I headed down to Ashland, OH for the 4th. On our way we stopped in Akron to spend time with my Grandpa and his wife, Grandma Hanna. You see, Hanna is dying. Each day could very well be her last. Hanna is not a stranger to our family. She has always been there--over 50 years in fact! She and her husband and my grandparents were best friends. Hanna and her husband had 7 girls, the 1st 3 my mom and aunts' ages. When my grandma died 2005, (Hanna's husband died several yrs ago) it seemed only natural that Grandpa and Hanna would form a deeper friendship. This resulted in marriage, and they were married Aug of 2006! It was strange to be married, in some ways, longer than my grandfather! :) They had had lots of discussions concerning the fact that they may not be married for long. They're both in their 80s and well, they just looked at reality. They have lived each day together to it's fullest and loved each other and have been good companions for one another. But, Hanna's dying. how can this happen? How can 1 man love and lose 2 women so close together? How does a person deal with that?

David and I visited with them for a while and when it was time to leave, Hanna started telling us good-bye. Have you ever said a permanent good-bye to someone? She said some things, but there were 2 things that really stood out to both David and I. First, she said that God has been so good to her in this life, here on earth, she can't even imagine what more he has for her. She said she wasn't deserving of the good life she's had here, let alone whatever he has in store for her in heaven. Wow!!!! The other thing she said was, "We can't even understand the meaning of the song, 'Great is Thy Faithfulness.' We have no idea what that means." She thought back through her life, and though she knew certain places God had been faithful she also knew she wouldn't fully understand his faithfulness this side of heaven. She looked at me and said, "Next week I'll be singing a new song." I hope you are Hanna!!! She has no regrets in this life. She's ready to meet her Creator face to face. She's ready to see those who have gone before her. She's not sad to be leaving this earth, for she knows that what's waiting for her is FAR better than anything this earth can offer. Will she be missed? OF COURSE!!!! But, who can deny a wonderful person from leaving this fallen world to be in the arms of her Savior?

These few things she said to us really said a lot to me. Am I living my life in such a way that I have no regrets? Do I live each day for my Lord and live it to the fullest? Am I even trying to understand what it means to say "great is Thy faithfulness?" I hope so. I hope that when I'm old and gray (or whenever the Lord takes me home) I can look at my family and say, "I have no regrets," the Lord has been more than wonderful to me here on earth, what more could he have for me and GREAT is HIS faithfulness...something I won't understand here on earth.

Great is Thy faithfulness, O God my Father...

God's Creations

David and I have been amazed this summer with the amazing storms we've been having.  We've had some strange cloud formations, colors in the sky that range from lavender to hot pink.  It's been amazing.  God has been showing his glory and his creativity in these storm clouds.  I've been able to photograph some of the storms and wanted to share some of the photos with you. I hope you enjoy them, although I don't think the photos do justice.  We're currently in the midst of a really bad storm...but it should be done by midnight! 

Chug, chug, chug

Here's another story to add to the strange things of Hillsdale category! David and I were meeting some people from church for ice cream Sunday night. As we were driving we passed a BP gas station, and I see a man on his John Deer riding lawn mower filling up! Yes, that's right, he had driven his lawn mower TO the gas station, he wasn't filling a gas can, he was directly filling the lawn mower. We then see the man proceed to drive the lawn mower down the street as though he was in his car. We parked our car and started walking up the sidewalk to the ice cream place only to hear a chug, chug, chug behind us. We turn around and here he comes ON HIS LAWN MOWER right up the sidewalk. I seriously wondered if he would've run us over if we hadn't moved. End of story? NO! As we're eating our ice cream I look out the window and HERE HE COMES AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!! Zooming around in his John Deer, heading back in the direction of the gas station. How funny!!!!!!!! I don't know why he didn't just fill a gas can. Seems to me he would've burned up all his gas getting to and from the station. The people we were with didn't find it nearly as amusing as we did, as we could tell by their polite laughter. Sigh...what is this place that God has put us?

Robert's Rules

I don't know about you, but I always thought we were supposed to run a church according to God's rules and regulations. Well, here at Bankers we still run our church using Robert's Rules of Order, which, mind you, was developed in the late 1800s and NOT for churches. Businesses no longer use it, for obvious reasons. This "order" seems to me to be like walking through thick mud to get anything accomplished. But, as with most things at the church, they don't care to see that this way of doing business is neither done IN businesses (for which it was written) or in churches any longer. Sigh...However, David has decided to become an "expert" on dear ol' Robert to show these people just how idiotic it is. They got a flavor for it yesterday at a special business mtg we had. They are so intent on doing business this way, that David is going to show them exactly what that means. We're hoping this will allow people to see how unproductive and inefficient it is and they'll be BEGGING to change! :) Hey! I have an idea! What if we looked to SCRIPTURE for how to run a church. Now, THERE'S an idea!

As a pastor's wife I'm not allowed to share my opinion. For those who know me you know this is a huge frustration to me! Why don't I share? Well, it wouldn't do any good. I'm "just" the pastor's wife, and besides they think David tells me what to say anyway! HA!!! Now, that's funny! :) :) So, I sit in the pew and pray. I pray for wisdom for David as he moderates the mtg. I pray for the deacons to stand up for what's right, and I pray for the trustees to also do what's right. I would love to voice my opinion, but maybe praying is the best thing I can do.

Sometimes it's not easy being a pastor's wife. Ah well! I guess you could say I'm learning self-control! :)

Wholehearted Love

Do you love the Lord wholeheartedly? In our Wed. night Bible study we've just finished reading about the kinds of Israel and Judah. Most/all of them in Israel were bad, wicked, wretched. Some in Judah were good. I found it interesting that some were described as doing good in the eyes of the Lord, but didn't love him wholeheartedly. Due to this they inevitably went astray and their life wasn't as great as it could have been. This has really made me think--do I love the Lord wholeheartedly, with my WHOLE heart? Are there parts of my heart that aren't dedicated to him? I think if we're honest the answer is yes, there are parts of my heart that aren't dedicated to the Lord. How sad. We have the benefit of seeing how a less-then-whole heart of love affected the kings, but we don't have that benefit with our own lives. I was telling my women we may not have idols or "high places" that we worship like the Jews did, but there are certainly "idols" and "high places" that take away from our whole love for God. What are some of these idols? Food, toys, clothes, the need to have stuff, keeping up with the Jonses', watching junk on TV, not being kind to our family members, not respecting our husbands...I think this list could go on and on. I challenged my women to pray and ask the Lord to show them areas that are keeping them from loving him wholeheartedly. I encourage you to do the same. Let it not be said of you and me that we did good in the eyes of the Lord, but did not love him wholeheartedly, thus not living the life we could have lived in Christ.

Song of the Morning

I've mentioned that often in the mornings I have a song that runs through my mind. This morning it has been the simple chorus, "Spirit of the Living God." Here are the words:

Spirit of the living God

Fall fresh on me.

Spirit of the living God

Fall fresh on me.

Make me

Mold me

Melt me

Use me.

Spirit of the living God

Fall fresh on me.

May you feel his Spirit falling FRESH on you today!

Dogs--Lovable Nuisances

We have a beagle, I'm sure I've mentioned her before. Her name is Molly, and she has become like a child to us. She's 2 1/2 and full of energy--sometimes! :) She does manage to get a lot of naps in during the day--she has her pre-bed nap even! :) With the digging up of our yard over the past few days (due to laying new drainage pipes) we've had to move her chain elsewhere. The best place, unfortunately, was to put her at a tree that is right by on of my flower beds. I'm not much of a gardner, but I do enjoy pretty flowers and do put time into weeding (ok, not tons of time, but some does go into it! :) ) and watering. I go out last night to see my flower bed nearly destroyed!!!! My day lilies, which were days away from breaking from their blooms, were loped off. I had 2 other plants completely uprooted and turned over and then several holes were dug in various areas. Sigh...I tried to scold her, but it's hard when she's so blasted cute and just stands there wagging her tail, which in turn is wagging her, and "smiles" at you. Oh you stupid, lovable dog!!! She doesn't understand. All she knows is dad and mom put her by this GREAT dirt patch and hey! Mom has come out to see me! Sigh...what shall we do? The rest of the yard is a mud pit. Apparently, that all has to settle before new grass seed can be put down. Not sure how long that will take or how long it'll be b4 we DON'T have mud in the house. We were coming back in the house last night and got distracted talking to some other people. We look down and Molly is furiously rubbing her head/neck on something. What is it do you ask? You'll wish you hadn't! :) It was a dead bird complete with maggots!!! Oh yeah, that's our dog. I've attached a photo so you can see this loveable creature that God has given us! :) She is a hoot, despite her love for digging and rolling on dead things.

Stupid is as stupid does

How true are those words! You would think after 30 years of having this fair skin of mine and getting sunburned on countless occasions I would learn to wear sunscreen when I'm outside for extended amounts of time! I wish I could say I've learned this lesson, but alas, it appears I have not! Yesterday, we had our company picnic and the weather was so nice! We were sitting under a tree to eat and either someone moved the tree or the sun moved, either way, we weren't under shade for the whole time! My arms, face and chest are now cherry red...sigh. I know, I'm an idiot! How could I have forgotten? I don't know, but somhow I did. I wasn't at all hot until the picnic was done and I realized my SKIN was hot! Brother...

Learn from me! Don't be stupid! Put sunscreen on!!!!!!

Prayer...

I would like to ask for your prayers today and tomorrow, especially. I will be mtg with the powers that be to discuss my taking over the marketing for the Hillsdale Academy (started/sponsored by the College). I would love to have this job, it would really help us financially and well, I would love it if you would pray that I get the job. At this point everyone is in agreement for me to have it, we just need to get the Academy's headmaster to agree. I don't think we'll have any issues, but nonetheless, I would appreciate prayer! Thank you!!!

This week has been vacation Bible school at church. We've had a pretty good turn-out. The important thing is that the kids are hearing the Gospel.

Hope your Wednesday is GREAT!

BEWARE of RANTING WOMAN!!!

Today, I don't want to be a pastor's wife. I want to go give a piece of my mind to the people in the church who are doing things that just don't make sense. We don't have a budget for any ministry, let alone vacation Bible school, which is happening this week. However, the trustees want to plunk down $10,000 to pave portions of the parking lot. We won't be getting health insurance through the church anymore, but thankfully, we can get it through the College, where I work. The problem? What is the church going to do with the money they're saving by not having to pay for health insurance? What makes a group of people think that just because you're spending money that means you're doing something good for the community? I can't say any of this to these people because this would make my husband's job harder and well, he just doesn't need the extra headaches! The best thing for me is to be a sounding board for my husband and love and support him in his struggles. Don't we all feel like a mama bear when our loved one is being mistreated? I know I do!! Why is it we have to spend so much time on these ridiculous "problems" and issues when there are people around us (and the church) who will die w/out knowing Jesus. This just doesn't seem right. I don't understand. I can't understand. What causes a whole group of people to become so apathetic about EVERYTHING? What causes a group of people to have a vice grip on the money when ministry opportunities come a long but when something comes along to benefit US the money is shelled out? What causes a group of people to dislike seemingly everything their hard-working pastor is trying to do? Why do Christians have to be so horrible? Just think what a church could accomplish if they just put the energy they use to argue and disagree into actually winning people for Christ. We wouldn't know what to do with all the people! Our churches would be full to over-flowing.

Today, I don't want to be a pastor's wife. I just want to be a wife, who goes to church with her husband, and who doesn't have to deal with all this insanity. I want to be a woman who can go to church, use her God-given gifts and abilities to serve the Lord and hopefully bring others closer to Christ. I want to be a woman who sees all the old ladies and thinks they're just wonderful, without a nasty/mean bone in their little bodies. I want to go to church, sit in the pew and not be judge just SIMPLY because of who my husband is--heck, I want to sit in the back and not get glared at for taking someones seat.

Today I would rather be anything but a pastor's wife, but that's not what God called me to be. He didn't call me to be the wife of a dr, or a plumber, or a pilot. He called me to be the helpmate to a wonderful man who is dedicated to serving the Lord behind a pulpit. He has called me to sit in the front row and smile at all those old ladies and love them despite their prickly exteriors. He's called me to love the people of this church and to show them HIS love, however I can. He's called me to encourage my husband, hold him when he's down, pray for him to have wisdom, rejoice with him and help in any way I can. God has showed me that I need to be more creative in my ways of serving him in the church. Could it be, that by being real, loving and joyful is the way I need to serve him at Bankers? Could be.

It's still hard--not always wanting to be a pastor's wife. But, this is what God has called me to do and I need to be faithful in doing his will. Pray for your pastor's wife. She is holding a lot of burdens. Pray that today she is encouraged in some way by someone in the church. Pray that the Lord would show her how to better serve her husband and how to better serve Him. Thank the Lord for your pastor's wife and all she does for you and your church and her husband. I don't say any of this to toot my own horn. I just see things from a different perspective now and God has really opened my eyes to the lonliness a pastor's wife can feel. Love your pastor's wife today and let her know you love her and that you appreciate her!

Bringing Hope

How do you bring hope to someone who doesn't believe in the only Hope there is? One of my coworkers/friends, is an unbeliever. She has never set foot in a church save for weddings and funerals. She didn't grow up knowing/believing in God so why should she now? A few months ago it was found that her dad has cancer. After a round of treatments it was found on Tues. that he is in stage 4 (terminal) cancer, it has grown and not shrunk at all. How do I offer hope to her? I don't know. I don't have an answer. I tell her I'm praying for her, but does that mean anything? I sit and listen, offer my help in anyway she needs me. Does this mean anything? Is this showing her the love Christ has for her? What happens when her dad dies? What then? How do I answer the questions about why God didn't save him? These are things that I have been struggling with the past few months as I try and minister to her. She is a sweetheart and so much fun to work with. I have enjoyed getting to know her. However, I'm always left with the question of HOW? Are you struggling with this question? If not, and you're a Christian, I suggest getting to know someone who doesn't have the Hope we have in Christ. We can't very well spread this Hope if we don't know anyone who needs it. I'm glad to have this opportunity and until the Lord shows me otherwise, I'm going to keep praying for her, listening to her and being her friend. Jesus was a friend and told people about his love through that friendship. In this crazy world, sometimes I think the best witness we can give is a consistent life in Christ. "Let your light so shine before men that they may see your good works and praise His name!"

On a WAY less serious note, David's mom gets in today! We're excited to see her!!

The Turtle Who Tried to Eat Hillsdale

Usually, Molly is a quiet dog, doesn't do much barking, only when she wants in. Well, I guess yesterday she was raising cain and wouldn't stop howling, barking, etc so David went outside to see what all the commotion was! Low and behold there was a turtle out there about the size of a dinner plate! Thankfully, it was out of Molly's reach because he wasn't too happy with all the commotion. David got pictures (I've attached one here) and the 2 of them had fun watching the turtle "scurry" off into the weeds. We think this "little" guy is the culprit concerning our eaten tomato plants, but who knows? Could be the rabbits too! :) It's not all bad living in the country! :) :) Here's to turtles and beagles who don't like them! :)

Dive-bombing hummingbirds and a man with a bucket

With that kind of title how could you NOT want to read this blog? :) :) Last summer we decided to put up a hummingbird feeder. I, especially, really enjoyed watching the little buggers swoop in for their sugary treat! I finally got it back up the other day and already they're flocking. I was watching the feeder last night and noticed that a male (I know he's a male due to his bright red neck and green back) was perching on the hanger thing we have the feeder on. I then noticed that every time another hummingbird would come in for some food he would dive-bomb them and shoo them away! This was hilarious to watch. Was he sitting there waiting for his mate, his girlfriend, or just being a selfish little pest? Not sure, but it was funny! I'm hoping to get some photos of them one of these days. I would encourage you to get one of these feeders. You don't have to get the already-made nectar, you just make your own (1 part sugar to 3 parts water). You can add red food coloring if you want, but this year I decided not to and they're still coming. I'd say if you have kids, this would be an especially fun addition to your yard this summer! Just be sure to take it away in Sept so they fly south and don't freeze to death! :) We were given this ominous warning last year... :) :)

On to "Bucket Man"--as we're calling him now! :) David and I got settled into bed last night (about 10:30) and heard a truck pull in at the front--this is a common occurrence, as I've said before. It quickly became apparent that they weren't just turning around, so David went to the window just in time to see this man, carrying a big, 5-gallon bucket, sprinting between the house and church going back towards the neighbors on the other side of the church. We didn't see him for about 5 minutes and then suddenly here he comes (w/out the bucket this time) running again, hopped back into the truck and sped away. WHAT IN THE WORLD????????? We don't know. We don't understand. We were worried he planted some kind of explosive or started a fire, or something deviant, but this morning everything seemed fine. We are perplexed, to say the least. Sigh...we were left really wondering about this place, the rednecks here and their peculiar ways. We were then left to wondering (not the first time), how do we reach them? How do you reach a community that seems to have no hope?

Anyway, here's to dive-bombing hummingbirds and the Bucket Man!

Monday blahs

I often feel like Garfield, and share his hate of Mondays. But, then I have to wonder why are Monday's so horrible? I have no idea! I guess it could be that the weekend is over and we're back to reality and work. :) Work's not so bad, though, right? I mean, there are 1000s our there who don't even have jobs and need them. I always feel bad complaining about it being Monday. Could this be the Holy Spirit convicting me that every day is a gift from Him? Could it be that I need to be more conscience about serving Him and looking for opportunities to do so, regardless of the day? From here on out, I'm going to do my best to not dread Mondays, but see it as a chance to serve the Lord!

We had some weird weather this weekend. Friday the sky turned a yellowish-green color. We were trying to decide if we should head to the basement but took pictures instead! :) Turns out we were fine. Yesterday the sky got more and more dark and we were wondering why we weren't on the radar on the news channel for getting a thunderstorm. David got on line to check and it said we were under a storm watch. Well, the sky opened up and as David said, we "watched it come down!" I think weather people just pull things out of a hat 1/2 the time! Oh, and I took pictures of this oncoming storm too! :) After about an hour the sky turned brilliantly blue again as though rain had never even been a threat.

I hope you have a good Monday and can use today to find out what all the Lord has in store for you!

Earnest prayer

Have you ever wanted something so bad that you prayed so hard people thought you were drunk? That's what happened to Hannah in 1 Samuel. She couldn't have had a very happy life. We know that the other wife picked on her so bad she became distraught and cried. Thankfully, her husband loved her. In fact, he was upset that she thought she had to have children to earn his love. She wanted a child so badly that she promised to give him back to the Lord. How hard that must have been for her. She has a son and knows she must fulfill her promise to the Lord. She does and God blesses her with more children. This story has always been special to me. I've always admired Hannah's devotion to the Lord and her willingness to follow through even when it was difficult to do so. With my Wed. night Bible study we've been going through the OT (I think I've mentioned this...) and we just recently read the story of Hannah. I read it in a different light this time. Though I don't have another wife hen-pecking me, and I'm not miserable, I am without a child. It's been difficult. I have to pray daily that bitterness doesn't set into my heart. I have been slammed in the face with the fact/idea/whatever that maybe I haven't been praying earnestly enough for a child. I know that our society is way different then Hannah's was, and I can't say that I CAN give my child to a church when he/she is a year old, but there are other ways to give my child/children to the Lord. I can give them to Him on a daily basis, trusting Him to take care of them. I can give them to Him by knowing that wherever the Lord takes them (be it around the world or just in the US) that I let them go w/out making them feel guilty for leaving. I remember my mom saying that she did this (and probably still does). I never felt guilty for doing what I knew the Lord wanted me to do (and it's the same today). I never felt that my mom didn't want me to go just to stay with her for selfish reasons. I know it wasn't easy for my mom to let me go, but I also know she knew I had to do the Lord's will. What can we learn from Hannah from 1000s of years ago? Well, I can learn that I need to pray more earnestly--right now about having a child, but really, with anything in life. I can also learn that when/if the Lord does answer me with a yes, I have to remember that this blessing is from HIM and not due to anything I have done. I have to remember that it belongs to HIM and I have to be willing to let it/him/her go if that's what he asks. Is it easy to do? No, but I have learned in my 30 years that doing what GOD wants is FAR better then doing what I want. Not always the easiest road, but always the best road.

May you be encouraged today to pray earnestly for the things you want/need/desire. Scripture promises to give us the desire of our hearts (in Psalms), and in James it also warns that our prayers aren't answered because we ask with the wrong motives/desires. It's such a balancing act...Be encouraged though, that our Lord DOES hear our prayers and answers them according to what's best for us! Remember Hannah today. Read her story, it's not very long and is at the beginning of 1 Samuel. She has a lot to teach us about surviving under difficult situations and seeking/praying earnestly to the Lord for the desires of our heart.