38 Weeks and Still Counting

I'm 38 weeks today! I keep telling myself that with each day and week I'm just that much closer to the day! :) Since last week I've had some pretty hard, on the verge of painful (because I've been through labor I know these aren't TRULLY painful yet!) contractions. Some have been waking me up at night. Alas, no baby yet! The crib is put together, all baby things have been washed, we have acquired a bouncy seat to borrow, the hospital bag is packed with most stuff. I'm keeping up on the laundry and grocery shopping as much as possible. My mom continues to come up and help me keep the house clean. We're ready, man! C'mon baby!!

I am trying really hard to just live life to the best of my ability. I've been spending a lot of time in prayer, reading Scripture, just resting in the Lord. I have my moments of nerves and "panic," which I hope are normal. I'm trying really, really hard not to let those moments become controlling or take over. I've been pretty successful. I keep telling myself that birth is happening whether I'm ready or not. This baby has to come out at some point whether all of my mental ducks are in a row. And, I keep telling myself how much nicer it would be if I wasn't in a state of panic when it happened! So, I continually give my fears over to the Lord and ask for his help and just go about my day as well as possible. I mean, isn't that what we're supposed to do anyway?

And so, we begin week 38 with hopes that this baby boy will make his appearance this week, but also knowing if he doesn't the Good Lord has his reasons!

Preparation

There has, of course, been much preparation going on in this household! And, as we all know, it's for the arrival of one little boy!!! I tend to write my blogs in chunks, so it's actually Tues. when I'm writing this, and I'm scheduling it to appear on Friday. I guess at this point that can be tricky! :) Who knows? This entry my be preempted by a birth announcement--wouldn't that be nice? :)

It's been interesting to see how I've done things differently this time around. With Cora we were living in a very small, run-down (I mean, really, it should be bull-dozed) house that was to be temporary (2 years later we moved out!!). I didn't do much nesting because I didn't want to get everything out only to have to repack it. In hindsight I should have just gone ahead and got everything out...It saddened me greatly with Cora that I couldn't have a cute little room all fixed up for her. We crammed the pack-n-play in our room, and had to put her dresser and changing table in the dining room. It was not ideal, but we made it work. The little house soon filled with other necessities--like the swing and bouncy seat. We got the car seat in the van, the diaper bag packed, the hospital bag ready, etc. We were READY! Every night we had our phones and the computer charging just in case. I felt very prepared. I wasn't too mentally prepared. I mean, I had no idea what to expect and then when it was decided to induce me I really didn't know what to think. But, I prayed a lot, asked my sister a LOT of questions and did my best to be mentally prepared.

With a second child on the way things are different, yet the same. I feel more relaxed, you know, if everything doesn't get done it's not a huge deal. I mean, the insatiable need to nest is very much there. We have a spot for the baby and so it's easy to set up the crib and the dresser (which is in the room, not the dining room!) and there is plenty of space in our home for all the baby stuff. I've enjoyed Cora's "help" as we get out everything, unwrap gifts, put stuff away. It's been good for her, I think, to be involved. I'm not sure she really gets what's going on, but at least it won't be a total shock for her, right?  We've still had to wash all the wee baby clothes and put them away. I'm over 37 weeks and the crib still needs to be set up, the car seat still needs to be put in the car and as of Tuesday our hospital bag was not packed. I have a feeling that will get done once I know for sure I'm in labor. Mentally, I'm preparing differently. This time I know the pain will be intense. I know there will be times during labor that I'll want to give up. But, I also know that it'll be worth all the hard work and there will be a baby at the end! This time I'm refusing induction (unless medically necessary) and so I've been having to refocus my mental preparation. I know that this time the pain will be natural and not medically induced. I also know that the pain will actually be doing something other than making me miserable (read Cora's birth story). I've also been struggling with some different fears, but am doing my best to give those to the Lord. I don't know if you ever really feel prepared for childbirth be it your 1st or 20th child, but at least I know kinda what to expect!

Let the Waiting Begin

Today I am full term!!!! I'm 37 weeks now and that is what "they" consider full term, meaning it's perfectly OK and safe for the baby to come now! After all the scare of delivery too early I'm much relieved that this day has come. I keep telling myself that now that this time has come Baby Sprout will take his jolly time! :) At my appointment today it was found that I'm 1 1/2 cm dilated, 80% effaced, and the baby is at -1 with his head very securely down on the cervix! Things are happening!!!!

I have felt the insatiable need to "nest." What a strange instinct, huh? I mean really. I'm large, can hardly move around, can't really bend over and yet all I want to do is make the house spic-n-span and make sure everything is in it's place and that we're all set and ready to go. I mean, you'd think the baby would show up NOW at the rate I'm going. Maybe nesting is God's way of helping us fill our days of waiting. My guess is he knows how uncomfortable we are (I mean, he did design us to do this) and so he gives us the need to stay busy. It must look funny for a ginormous waddling woman as she scurries about the house doing this, that and the other. But, I don't care!!! I'm ready for this baby to come and the more active I am the more chance of starting labor and the sooner I get to meet this wee babe!

I'm cleaning, sorting, nagging my husband to get ridiculous chores done (it seems we can't get enough "trash" out of the house!) and all the while I just don't think anything is done! HA! HA! HA! After the baby comes I suppose I'll be too tired to do anything so maybe part of the nesting is a good thing so the house has a head start. My husband will be sure to let me know LATER (after the hormones calm down) how silly I was. I don't really care--this house needs help!!!!!

To Give Thanks

Sometimes it's hard to give thanks, and yet we're commanded to do so! Sometimes it's easier to stay in self pity and waller in the bad that's happening that you would just rather not give thanks. Sometimes you think God has given you all those lemons just to get in your paper cuts and the thought of using the lemons to make lemonade is ridiculous. I have to say that throughout this pregnancy I have succumbed to all of this--the bad, not the giving of thanks. However, I have been convicted as of late (and let's be honest the Holy Spirit has been pricking my conscious the whole time) that I just need to give thanks. I need to accept the lemons and make some lemonade out of them. I need to stop wallowing in self-pity and give thanks. And so, I want to give thanks in this blog entry. I have written a list of things that have come to mind for me to give thanks about. It's not exhaustive, but it's certainly what came immediately to mind.

1. Cora has been healthy most of this pregnancy, especially as of late with the onset of warmer weather.
2. Cora has been sleeping well at night and taking her naps which has allowed me full nights of sleep and rest in the afternoons.
3. I have had several friends helping me by taking Cora for several hours in the morning and feeding her lunch so that she's ready for her nap when she comes home, which allows more rest for me.
4. My husband. Oh my husband. I don't have enough words to say how thankful I am for him. I know he's busy with his own work and yet, without complaining, he has taken on extra chores--cooking, cleaning, taking care of Cora, Molly, the yard work, etc. He is carrying far more than his fair share right now, and I'm so thankful for him. And, he's doing all of this without getting good sleep due to all the pillows in the bed keeping me comfortable. He is a gem and I am truly, truly blessed that he's my husband.
5. My mom and mother-in-law have done more than they need to in helping us. My mom has been coming up 1 day a week for several weeks now helping me with whatever. My MIL has been coming up when she can, also doing whatever I need help with. This includes laundry, dusting, vacuuming, sweeping, mopping, grocery shopping, oh and entertaining Cora too!!! I am blessed to not only have a mom who loves me but also a MIL.
6. My dear sister has also been coming up when she can (she is busy getting her house ready to sell, has 3 kids of her own, trying to finish up home schooling for the year) and has been a ginormous help too. And, she's always a phone call away, reminding me that pregnancy doesn't last forever, this too shall pass and other such wonderful encouragements. I love my sister so very much and am so thankful for her and her encouragement.
7. My father has been spending his weekends between our house and my sister and BIL's house helping us all with projects. This means he is busy, busy, busy. And, he does it cheerfully, never complaining. I know my dad is exhausted and yet he willingly takes on these projects/challenges to help us out. We are greatly indebted to him.
8. Our church family has been so loving, caring, concerned, compassionate--quite frankly, it's overwhelming. My church attendance has not been too regular and they never make me feel guilty for it. They just want this baby to come so that I feel better. They have not once made me feel like a failure as a pastor's wife because I'm not dragging myself to church every Sunday--in fact there have been Sundays when I've been "scolded" for being there and told I should have stayed home. They are so excited when I'm there and are so very helpful to me with Cora while David is working. We are so blessed to be in this church, and I don't ever want to forget their love and concern for us during this time.
9. I am thankful to all those who have been praying for me during this difficult time. I learn all the time of more and more people who've been praying for me, and I had no idea. I feel so unworthy and yet am so thankful because without those prayers I would not be getting through this.
10. I'm so grateful for the excellent medical care I'm receiving during this pregnancy. It's been worlds better than last time, and I am just praising the Lord for bringing us to this point. I look forward to having a much better labor/delivery experience.
11. And, I'll end with saying how thankful I am to the Lord. For without his help, love, grace and mercy I could not do this. I'm so thankful for his faithfulness to me even on my worse days when I was angry at him for allowing me to feel so terrible. I'm glad our God has a thick skin!!

What are you thankful for today?

36 Weeks

I'm 36 weeks today--1 more week and I'll be full-term!!! I had my midwife appt today and all is fine and dandy. I feel terrible, but thankfully my BP is fine and the baby's heart rate is perfect. I'm also measuring right at 36 weeks, so that's good too! My midwife seems to think I won't be pregnant much longer, but I have come to decide that picking the day a baby will come is like picking the day Christ will return! I think only GOD knows the real day of the baby's arrival. :) My Braxton Hicks are getting a little more "biting," but this is totally normal. I've also reached the point where I go to my midwife every week until the baby comes. So...guess I should get the hospital bag packed and the rest of the baby stuff done! :)

A Day of Hard Work

For weeks now we've been trying to get the rest of our yard fenced in. We had scheduled a work day in April--which didn't work--so we rescheduled and that didn't work (due to David and I spending the night in the hospital because of my contractions). Soooooo, we FINALLY were able to get it done on Saturday! The plan was to get the fence done and also get my washer and dryer moved from the basement up to an area in the kitchen. The fence got done, but the washer/dryer will need to get done later (hopefully this week). After learning that this week is going to be in the high 80s and 90s we opted to skip the washer/dryer, and David had my dad help him get a window A/C unit installed in our room. Our room is upstairs and it gets HOT up there! It's been hot with just mid-70s weather so we knew anything higher and we'd be miserable. I'm so thankful for the work my dad and husband did. It'll be great not have to chain the dog up anymore (and untangle her 1000 times a day!), and it'll also help Cora learn boundaries a bit better. 

Front of the backyard...from garage to back porch (door we use all the time)

Back of backyard (behind garage)

While the men were doing their thing, my mom and I were sorting through all of the baby clothes we've been given. Not only did we get tons at the shower, but I've also been given a ton of hand-me-downs. We found all of the newborn-3 month and Mom washed and folded them. The rest were set aside to be used later! Because I had so many hand-me-downs I got rid of some that I knew I wouldn't use. Mom knows of a family who will be able to use them, so that's great! I think we're getting there! 

We still need to put the crib together, buy a mattress for the crib and get the bedding all set. I need to put all the baby clothes AWAY, wash the bottles (just in case nursing doesn't go well) and buy a few odds and ends. After getting all this done I have this horrible feeling/thought that the baby will decide he's plenty happy inside and will be "late!" Oh, I really hope not...

35 Weeks

Taken at my baby shower on Sunday. My shirt is compliments of my mom and sister and is so nice and cool for the weather that's heating up!

I'm 35 weeks today, yeah! I have 2 more weeks to keep this baby inside so it's safe for him to be born. "Safe" meaning, no time in NICU, less chance of complications, etc. Even though it's "only" 2 more weeks it seems an eternity to me right now. I'm still having contractions, though nothing too drastic, for which I'm thankful. I know this baby will come when he's ready, and I'm just praying he comes when God says it's time, even if that time is before 37 weeks. I have to chuckle at the thought that after all this worry, laying low and taking it easy he may just think it's nicer to stay inside and could end up being late! Oh, I sure hope not!!! 

I find myself struggling a lot with fear and anxiety.  I believe some of this is normal, because let's be honest, the idea and thought of labor/delivery is NOT fun or pleasant and there's a lot of pain involved and unknowns. But, I find that my fear is more related to the fear of not wanting things to happen the way they did with Cora. There was so much uncertainty, no control, unnecessary measures taken that became necessary due to being induced. It was all so nuts and chaotic when I look back on it. I'm scared of the same thing happening. However, I know it won't happen that way. Why? Well, for starters I won't be induced (unless absolutely medically necessary) and that's the change. Because I won't be induced all the unnecessary things that became necessary won't happen. I was sharing my fear with David and he said this to me, "I know you can do it. You know why? Because you did it with Cora and this time won't be so horrible." Pray for me if you think about it. Fear is something that I seem to struggle with the most in life and it's starting to hit me pretty hard right now. 

But, YEAH! I'm 35 weeks!!!! 

Showered with Blessings

Our church threw me a baby shower yesterday. It was a lot of fun and I'm glad I felt OK enough to go! I had told David on Saturday that I could not do both church and the shower, so we decided it was best to go to the shower. I slept all morning and got up in time to get ready for the party. I'm so glad I was able to go. It was such a good time and I left feeling so blessed and "showered" by the ladies of our church. They put a lot of work and effort into making things cute and baby boy friendly! My mom, MIL, aunt, sister, niece, nephew, sister-in-law and my sisters MIL were able to join us too! We had a good time and I can't wait to see our baby boy in all of his new clothes! 

34 Weeks 3 days

I'm getting closer to the "safe delivery" zone with each passing day, which brings me great relief! I had my 34 week midwife check yesterday and was glad to go. Since having our stint in the hospital over the weekend  I have been feeling dreadful. However, to give any real symptoms is almost impossible. All I seem able to describe is that I feel like crap, cruddy, terrible, just not good. None of this is very helpful to the medical staff, and so I had been wondering how I would describe how I've been feeling at my appointment. I requested to have my cervix checked to be sure nothing more was progressed. My BP is great, the baby's heart rate is right where it needs to be, the baby is measuring right on track and my cervix is no more progressed than it was over the weekend. I did my best to describe how I'm feeling (or not feeling) to my midwife and she looks at me and says I "simply" have symptoms of a woman about to give birth.  Unfortunately, there's nothing that can be done and she said unfortunately I'll more than likely feel this way until the baby is born. Great...however, I'm relieved to know there's nothing serious going on. She assured me that if the baby should be born before 37 weeks he will be fine. Baby's can survive quite well at this point and though some are even able to go home when mom does, most end up staying in the NICU for a week longer.

So, what am I to do for now? Well, for the next 2 1/2 weeks I'm supposed to lay low, rest as much as possible, keep eating and drinking and just take it easy. After that I'm not to rest and let nature do it's thing! :) My midwife told me to take advantage of all the help I can get right now and then once I hit 37 wks to start doing things myself. :) :) And, should I start going into labor early they want to let nature take it's course anyway. I left feeling much more at ease and will do as they say.

God has a plan for this wee one, and I know he is in HIS hands. I'm so thankful for the medical care I'm being given. God has brought us to a great place and it's even equipped with a great NICU, should we need it.

Learning to Let Go

My grandma was a quiet woman, a loyal woman, a woman who deeply loved her family, had a strong will, a bit of a temper and red hair. She loved to watch Jeopardy! and seemed to know most of the answers. She always kept a yard stick by her chair to spank us, though I'm not sure she ever used it. And, my grandma was afflicted with Rheumatoid Arthritis. This disease is horrible, and not at all like "regular" arthritis where you have aches and pains. You have mind-numbing pain and basically your body is "eating" itself. My grandma had a fake knee, at least one of her hips was fake, her one elbow was fused into place and her fingers were gnarled and curled because of the RA. Because of all of these things, that only got worse as the years went on, she was unable to do much outside of the house. Many probably thought she just sat around watching soap operas and ate bon bons. My grandma was not perfect, and she had a disease that took away her outside beauty, but what many people didn't know was my grandma was a prayer warrior--the fiercest kind as far as I'm concerned. She prayed for everyone in her family, she was on the prayer chain for her church and she probably prayed for folks she didn't even know simply because they were dear to one of her loved ones. I guarantee she prayed for the salvation of unsaved family members as she was dying and taking her last breath. My grandmother had a mission field just in her living room, in her chair. She may not have been out doing stuff, but I believe my grandma did more for the Kingdom of God than most of us will ever do.

Another thing about my grandma, and this is what kept her alive for so long, was she had a HUGE stubborn streak in her! The woman was independent and she was not to be fooled around with! I have to be honest and say it could frustrate me to no end. It was so hard for me to watch her struggle to do simple tasks when I knew I could do it much faster and save her some pain (I NEVER once heard her complain about being in pain, by the way). I learned quickly that she did not want the help and she was not too pleased to be offered help! I learned that this stubborn woman needed her independence because so much had been taken from her. So much control had been lost due to a disease she didn't ask to have.

During this pregnancy I have come to relate to my grandma a lot more, especially where the stubbornness and independence is concerned. There are other areas I am like my grandma, but this one probably sticks out the most--just ask my mom! :) I have been sick with pregnancy stuff, sinus infections, viruses, etc most of this pregnancy and it has been so hard for me to ask for help. I have, on more than one occasion, overdone it and made myself sicker because I was just too dang stubborn to ask for help. However, I have come to a point in this pregnancy that for the sake of the baby I have to rely on others. I have to lose my the tight grip I hold on my independence and let others help me. I have to let my mom, sister, MIL, and friends come help me with Cora, with the house work, with laundry, cooking and grocery shopping. If I don't I could cause this baby to be born before it's safe. I could hurt myself and well, I just have to let go. I have had to say "no" to doing a lot of things for the health of the baby and myself. It has not been easy, and I've hated every second of it, but it's necessary.

What I found so frustrating in my grandma I have now come to appreciate. No, I don't have a horrible, debilitating disease and this pregnancy is coming to a fast end, but I can appreciate how hard it was for her to let go. I remember at the end of her life my grandma knew she could no longer do anything for herself--from going to the bathroom to fixing something to eat. I hated seeing this strong, independent woman have to give up things that were so simple. It was so hard to have to do those things for her, not because I didn't want to help, but because I knew what it must have been for her to have them done for her. As I temporarily give up some of my independence and ask people for help I'm trying to remember that it's OK, I'll live, and will probably be better off because of it. I love my grandma dearly and miss her so much even though she's been gone for several years. I appreciate the stubbornness and independence she gave me.

What do you need to let go of today, even if just temporarily?

Life's Surprises

Just when you think things are going fine life happens and things start to go unbalanced. Friday I spent the day down at my mom's house where my sister, nieces and nephew were as well. Cora needed to have the social time, needed to run around, and I needed to just rest. The day went pretty well, until I had a colossal melt down which resulted in me getting some contractions. I figured once I calmed down I'd be fine, but no. I have no idea if the melt down started things, or if this would have happened anyway, but around 8 pm I noticed the contractions had not stopped and thought maybe I ought to start thinking about paying more attention. I called my sister around 9 for advice and started to keep track and drown myself with water. I ended up calling my midwife around 10 because I was having contractions every 2-3 min, and they were lasting anywhere from 20-45 sec. They weren't painful, but definitely there. My midwife suggested taking a bath, keep drinking and hopefully this would solve the problem. It did and I went to bed. I slept about an hour, woke up to use the bathroom (thanks to all the water!), and couldn't go back to sleep. The contractions had returned and they were keeping me awake. I was also getting quite a bit of back pain. I began to pray. I mean, who wants to head to the hospital in the middle of the night for no reason--not me!!!!!! I asked the Lord to make it abundantly clear to me if I needed to call the midwife back (which I knew she would say to go to the hospital), or just let me fall asleep. Well, falling asleep did not happen, I called the midwife and we were on our way to the hospital at 2:45 on Saturday morning. I had a brief thought of maybe I should pack a bag, but didn't. One of the local pastor's wives who we've gotten to know came to sit at the house while my parents made their way up. I continued to have contractions all the way to the hospital, and I felt they were getting stronger, becoming more uncomfortable. We got to the hospital, up to labor/delivery and began the long diagnosing process.

I was checked over, hooked up to 2 monitors (1 for the baby's heartbeat and 1 for contractions). The baby was fine--praise the Lord--and I was most certainly having contractions. The midwife discovered that I am 60% effaced and a finger-tip dilated. She said my cervix felt like it was "labored," meaning I had been having contractions for a while. She wanted to wait and see if everything settled down on it's own without meds--for which I was very thankful--and we hunkered down for an undetermined amount of time. All in all we were released around 6:30 a.m. The contractions went away on their own, and I was no more dilated, which was really good. I'm to take life easy, doing only what absolutely must be done, rest and drink lots of water. I also need to make sure I eat as much as possible. My midwife told me that the anorexia was troubling. I was so shocked she said that and said, "I guarantee you I'm not anorexic!" She laughed, knowing I'm not anorexic, but explained that since I'm not gaining weight during the pregnancy like I should I need to eat more to get more calories. A possible cause of the contractions could be my body not getting enough calories and wanting to rid me of the baby since it's taking all the calories. So, I'm trying to eat more. How strange! Usually, I have to be so careful!!! I've been trying to eat as much as possible this whole pregnancy, but I guess it's not enough. I have found it strange that I've only gained about 10 lbs. although the baby is measuring just fine.

I have my next appointment on Thursday so I guess we'll see if anything has changed. We're curious to see if this baby comes early, of course just my "luck" he'll be late! :) David and I are praising the Lord that everything seems to fine, that Baby Sprout is growing and moving and doing his thing and I'm not any worse for the wear. I'm 34 weeks today, so that means another 3 weeks and I'll be in the safe delivery zone. My prayer is that Baby Sprout stays in for these next 3 weeks, then he's welcome to come out! :)  I'll be sure to get the hospital bag ready now...

Monday Blahs

It's Monday. That's all I have to say about that. I'm tired, tired of being tired, not feeling well, tired of not feeling well, and just feel all around discouraged. No particular reason, just do. It's gorgeous outside and yet I have zero energy to go out and do anything. I'm thankful for the new-to-us table and chairs we now have sitting on our back deck. I'm thinking Cora and I will be using that a lot this summer to do fun things!

I was telling my sister how I've not been feeling good again. I kinda feel as I did the last end of my 1st trimester--not fun! And, she tells me that it's not unheard of for women to revert to 1st trimester symptoms at the end of their pregnancy. Greeeeeaaaaaat...All I can say is I'm glad this is the end and not the beginning! So, again, I take it one day at a time. I have no other option, and really, this is all God requires of us anyway.

I'm not sleeping well, at all. Since I can't sleep on my right hip--due to the sciatica--I've been sleeping on my left hip for months now. It is now beginning to complain and is tired of being slept on! So, I have deemed this hip "Achy." During the night when the aching gets to be too much I roll 1/2 on to my back so that pressure is taken off the hip. This means more pressure is put on my right hip, or "Stabby," and I wake up with stabbing pain on my right side. It's not fun. I have struggled this whole pregnancy to not sleep on my back. For some reason that's all I want to do. Of course, at this point I have so many pillows that I'm not flat on my back so I guess it's OK. But, being on one's back means it starts to ache too with the weight of the baby, etc. Needless to say (but I will anyway!), I'm not getting sleep, which means poor David isn't getting sleep either. Thankfully, Cora and the dog are sleeping well!

So, there you have it. The Monday blahs have hit me hard today. My prayer is that today things get better, and I remember this baby is almost done "cooking!"

The Other Side of Pregnancy

Being pregnant makes my baby radar that much more strong. I am drawn to all things "baby" and of course I notice all the pregnant women around me. I have also been drawn to shows on TV that have to do with pregnancy or babies. I suppose that's just the way it is--like when you buy a new car you start noticing that EVERYONE has the same car you just bought! :) Unfortunately, my radar is also picking up the sad parts of pregnancy, the sad situations, the situations that aren't ideal.

I was watching the show "16 and Pregnant" on MTV the other day and was so saddened by the predicament of this 16 year old girl. She was the only 1 of her family (she had 4 siblings, all of her sisters being teen moms themselves) that had the chance of graduating high school. Her mom was so insistent about it because she wanted at least 1 of her 5 children to have a better life. And then, the girl gets pregnant. Her boyfriend was probably in his 20s, he certainly wasn't in high school any longer and was a barber. I was so saddened by watching this girl have such high hopes for her future and the future of their baby. She was so sure that her man would stand by her, but a wonderful father, love her and the baby even more then now, etc., etc., etc. I'm sure you can just imagine how it all turned out. Of course, as the pregnancy continues on he becomes less and less interested in her, actually making it pretty clear he's no longer interested now that she's pregnant. He was taped telling his friends that it's fun to have sex with your girl but then once she's pregnant it's just not exciting anymore. Wow. It's time for the baby to be born. The girl is induced (of course) and is crying due to the pain. I mean, labor is just that--labor. It's painful!!! Her man says to her, "Hey! Why are you crying?" DUH!!!! She says he was making her so upset at this point that she was just trying to ignore him. I can't even imagine. Labor with Cora (and I know with Baby Sprout) was hard enough that I can not imagine what it would have been like had it not been for David's constant support and love and strength (and my sister's!). The show ends with her struggling to graduate, taking care of the baby constantly, the father, of course, totally disinterested and the future of everyone unclear. I have to admit I cried. I cried for this girl and the baby. I just found it so sad.

A few days later we were at the mall, and I went into a maternity store to buy a few more things for summer. I love this store, and I have always thought it would be fun to work there. Then, I was reminded, when talking with the sales clerk, that not every pregnancy is ideal and there are some very sad situations. She told us that just the day before she had helped a 12 year old get some maternity clothes. That's right, TWELVE!!!!!!! And, the mom (probably barely 30 herself) was so excited to be buying maternity clothes for her daughter who was due in a week. The father of this unborn child was TWENTY (!!!!). Can you even imagine????????? The sales clerk says she gets teens all the time saying they need to have a Teen Maternity store. WOW!

What is wrong with our society? When did we come to the conclusion that it was OK to televise teens having babies? In who's mind is it OK for a 20 year old and 12 year old to have a sexual relationship? These things are NOT OK and yet our culture seems hell-bent on promoting it!!!! I am so disgusted. I don't think there is any ONE reason for this decline in our society. I don't think there is any ONE thing we can say, "if it weren't for this we wouldn't have teen pregnancy." I think it's a whole lot of things. I think it's girls growing up in fatherless homes; girls growing up in dysfunctional homes where the father might be there but doesn't make any effort to relate to his daughter; I think it's all the horrendous clothes that are sold to be worn by girls of all ages, things I wouldn't wear as an adult and things I truly believe at one time would only be worn by prostitutes.

David and I talk all the time about how we're raising Cora and her brother to be people who love the Lord and don't feel the need to fall to the pressures of society to feel loved. We know we're only 2 years into this parenting thing and these issues are yet to become big. But, we have already started with Cora. We don't buy short skirts/dresses/shorts for her. We don't buy any clothing that says such things as "princess," "I rule," "I'm the boss," etc. We make sure that if she's wearing a tank top it's not spaghetti straps and doesn't fall off her shoulders. Her bathing suits are modest and not bikinis. You may say, "yeah, but she's only 2." Well, folks, if we don't start now when do we start? Because I think if we started when she was in school it would be too late. We are teaching her how to sit in a dress/skirt, how to behave in public and telling her she's beautiful AND smart. David knows the importance of making sure she is secure in his love. Yes, it's "easy" now while she's 2, but I honestly believe that if we keep this practice up when we get to the pre-teen and teen years the foundation will be there and it'll be easier for all of us!

Please, protect your daughters and sons. Protect them from themselves. Be a parent, not a friend. You have plenty of time after they get out of school to be their friend. Do them a favor and be a parent!! They'll thank you later!

30 WEEKS!!!!!

REALLY? How is it possible that I'm 30 weeks pregnant today??????? That means I have 10 weeks to my due date. Obviously, I know the baby could come before then (YES!!!) or after that date (NO!!!!), but 10 weeks is doable. It seems just yesterday I was puking my guts out thinking I would be pregnant for the rest of my life and wondering why we thought we needed to add to our family. This has been a hard pregnancy, as I've mentioned several times. I'm not only going through pregnancy stuff, but also a lot of emotional baggage-unloading. It's been hard to do that unloading without the buffer of my Prozac, but somehow we're making it happen. Somehow God has sustained us and is continuing to do so.

As I think about the fact that we only have 10 weeks (give or take a couple) I'm starting to "panic" thinking of what all needs to be done!!!!!! We'll be getting 2 large projects done before the baby comes--fencing in the rest of our back yard and moving the washer and dryer up to the kitchen. I'll be glad when these 2 projects are done. They'll certainly make life so much easier. We have other "little" projects to get done--wash the windows, get some organizing done in closets, oh and get all the baby stuff organized! :) I'm also hoping to get some meals done up and in the freezer to make life easier after Baby Sprout comes. I have a lot of lofty plans, but I have learned/am learning during this pregnancy that I need to not have such high expectations of myself. I just have had ZERO energy this entire pregnancy and it's so frustrating for me, but I guess maybe God is trying to teach me something? :) :) :) So, I have my list, both on paper and mentally, but I'm also trying to give myself allowance if it doesn't all get done.

So, what is this baby up to this week? He is about 15 inches long and about 3 lbs. His eyes are still developing (as they'll keep doing even after birth). A pint and a half of amniotic fluid surrounds him, but that volume will decrease as he gets bigger and takes up more room in my uterus. It's crazy to think that pretty much all that's left for him to do is get chubby! :) I will be going to my midwife appointments every other week for 3 appointments and then start my weekly appointments. Me? I'm just getting larger, having troubles bending over and getting increasingly uncomfortable, which is just to get me excited to actually get this baby out! :) 


Here's a photo of my at 30 weeks. Yep, this baby is growing! 

Like a Bug

OK, so I've entered the home stretch, the last leg, the downhill roll, A.K.A. the THIRD TRIMESTER!!!!!!!! WAHOOOOOOO!!!!!!! Can you feel the excitement????? This trimester is so interesting to me. You get increasingly uncomfortable as your belly grows at ridiculous rates and sizes. You get to a point of wondering if the baby is literally going to just pop out of your belly button. Incidentally, with Cora my belly button never did pop out, just disappeared entirely--we'll see what happens this time! :) I truly believe God makes a woman get so uncomfortable so all she wants is for the baby to get OUT! I mean, you're peeing more, can't eat 2 bites before you feel like you've eaten an entire Thanksgiving dinner, breathing is harder thanks to the squished lungs, and sleeping is becoming more of a challenge. Really, everything is a challenge. One of these days I oughta take video of myself getting in and out of bed just to see how hilarious it really does look! :) Case and point: Last night David got in bed first so I decided to lean over and give him a kiss before I flopped around to get myself comfortable. We talked for a little bit and all of a sudden I realized I was stuck! I mean, I couldn't figure out how to move my body to get it out of it's current position to get to where I could sleep. We both started laughing, which as you know only makes it worse, and David asks how he can help? I told him he could stop laughing! :) I turned and looked at David and said, "Well, I think I've finally entered the 'bug stuck on its back' stage." And true enough, there I laid, like a bug stuck on her back wriggling about just trying to flip back over! :) 


Ah...I'm so glad the 3rd trimester is finally here! :) And, if you see a bug stuck on its back, do it a favor and help it flip over. :) 

A Photo

I'm 26 weeks and counting! Here's a photo David took of me yesterday. I'd say we're coming right along! Oh, and I have less then 100 days now!!!!!! AAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Large and in Charge???

I don't think I'm in charge, but I am feeling large! On Tuesday I was getting some housework done, doing laundry, sorting some baby stuff and suddenly felt very larrrrrrrrge. It just seemed to hit me all of a sudden, and I was suddenly very tired and realized that I'm not even DONE being pregnant and will just be getting larger! Oi vey!

I'm 25 weeks pregnant now. The baby, I'm told, is about 13 1/2 inches long and about 1 1/2 lbs. At this point the baby will start packing on the weight as most of the major development is done. The last things to develop are the lungs and those are developing right up to the end. The baby is developing his sense of touch right now and what I'm told is when I rub my belly he can feel it! :) How fun!!!!

Health-wise I think I'm doing OK. I have my next midwife appointment in a couple weeks. I'll be getting my glucose tolerance test done at that point--YUCK! But, it's necessary to make sure I'm not suffering from gestational diabetes. No worries--all pregnant women have to have this done! :) My dizziness has subsided somewhat. I'm hoping that by the time I'm done taking antibiotics it'll be totally gone. I was telling my husband just the other day that now that this 2nd trimester is almost over maybe I'll start feeling good??? No? You don't think? Sigh, me either. I have resolved myself to realizing I'm probably just not going to feel good during this pregnancy. My mom let me know she was the same way when pregnant with my sister, and I have heard that often the 2nd pregnancy can be harder. So, I just do my best to get through the day without a meltdown. I still find it horribly overwhelming to just get the simplest tasks done at home. But, that's the way it is and the Lord is my strength and is getting us through each day!

Nesting has definitely set in. I have been sorting through boxes trying to find any and all of the unisex newborn and infant clothes we have--we do have some. As I'm doing all of that I'm also sorting through Cora's winter stuff because I'm hoping we're almost done with winter and she is pretty much outgrowing all of her clothes at the same time. I'm trying to make room for new spring/summer clothes for her! :) I am SO EXCITED this time around that I actually GET to nest! It wasn't until Cora was 18 months old that I got to do any nesting for her! This has been great fun for me and I'm really enjoying it.

Oh, and my baby counter says we have 102 days left...AAAAGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

A Shout Out!

I just wanted to say a big "thank you" to my mom and my mom-in-law! They are two wonderful women who have been such a huge help and support to me especially during this pregnancy. I have had many helpers, but these two have come at a moment's notice on several occasions to help with whatever needed done--cooking, cleaning, laundry, grocery shopping, playing with Cora. I am so thankful for both of them and love them very much! I don't know if we'd be able to survive this pregnancy as well as we have were it not for them and their help!

Thanks Mom and Mom! :)

On a Tilt-a-Whirl

That's how I've been feeling the past few days--like I've just stepped off a whirly kind of ride and my head won't stop spinning. Dizziness is a terrible feeling, especially if you HAVEN'T just gotten off a spinning ride! So, I called my midwife's office today to see what they suggested. I'm not bleeding, the baby is moving fine, I'm not cramping and I'm drinking lots of water, oh and eating. The conclusion was (after the nurse conferred with 2 of the midwives) that I needed to get my thyroid and iron levels checked now rather then when I go for my next OB appt at the end of the month. David, Cora and I loaded up in the van and went to the hospital to have the blood work done. They'll be doing an extensive look at both the thyroid and iron levels, not just a basic test. I'm so thankful for Cleveland Clinic and all of it's capable nursing and doctor staff! I go in Friday to get the results and see what all is going on. In the meantime, my midwife wants me to get into my regular doctor to make sure I'm not getting an ear or sinus infection because it could "just" be my sinuses.

I'm trying really hard not to be discouraged. I am feeling very low about all this. I know right now there's nothing to be afraid of and that everything being done is simply precautionary, but nonetheless, I just want to have a normal pregnancy--whatever that is! :) If you think about it I'd appreciate your prayers. Mainly, that the baby is fine and that whatever is going on will be seen and is easily treated. While waiting on getting into the lab David and Cora were at this fountain in the middle of the hospital. They met a little boy (2 days younger then Cora) and his Grandma. They were there to visit his mom, who is due early April and has been in the hospital for the past 10 days to keep her labor at bay. They have allowed her 30 minutes a day so she can see her little boy. I'm so thankful I'm not at that point. Say a prayer for this lady, too, if you think about it!

23 Weeks--118 Days to go!

But, who's counting, right? :) I AM!!!!!! I can't believe I'm 23 weeks today, and I have 118 days to go--'course, could be less, I suppose! David and I have commented MANY times how this pregnancy has gone much faster then when I was pregnant with Cora. Could be life is just better right now and we're not wasting energy on the dysfunction of other people and are just able to enjoy this time. I have to say, however, that I do not enjoy pregnancy. I felt guilty thinking that with Cora because it had taken us a couple years to conceive her and so I thought I ought to just be thankful. And now, it was apparently easy enough for us to conceive this little guy, and again I feel guilty for not loving, not even liking, being pregnant. David assures me it's OK. I mean, I'm growing a human (which, let's face it, is really, really cool!), my body is doing weird things, I don't feel good, my emotions are totally whack, I hurt, I ache, I... I'm such a complainer! But, I have discovered that me and pregnancy just don't get along. I will NEVER understand the woman who just loves to be pregnant. I do not. I do NOT feel at the peak of health during pregnancy (quite the opposite), and I do not feel all glow-y and radiant. Oh well! The end result IS worth it, and I do love this little guy so much already, and I suppose that's what's important.

Baby Sprout is 23 weeks today! I had my midwife appointment today and she mentioned how amazing it is that babies born at this stage (God forbid!!!!) can survive outside the womb. It's crazy to imagine how far technology has come to think if he were born at any point now he would have an excellent chance for survival. (And, lest you wonder, no matter how much I hate being pregnant I would NOT want my child born before full term) This little guy should be just over a pound now, and about 11 inches long. He can hear noises outside the womb at this point, and I'm told should not be startled by the barking of the dog or the noise of the vacuum when born! :) It's amazing to think just how much development goes into these wee things.

How am I? Well, my sciatica is not nearly as bad as it was with Cora, for this I am PRAISING THE LORD!!!!! I have been super conscious to make sure I don't just sit around and get stiff, and I have my pillows all around me at night to make sure I don't roll onto my right side. There are days when my hip is more tender than not, but it's usually due to having done too much or not enough activity. I continue to pray it stays this way and doesn't get any worse. I'm also gaining weight, which is a good thing. :) Though, so far I've only gained 5 pounds thanks to the horrid 1st trimester. I've been dealing with a lot more dizziness this time around, but my BP is perfect, etc so I guess it's just pregnancy stuff.

Interestingly enough, you'll remember with Cora I had to have iron infusions for a month at the end of her pregnancy. It was not a fun time, mostly because before they put the iron in me I was injected with large doses of steroids to, as I was told, make sure I didn't have a deadly reaction to the iron... lovely. Well, I was discussing all this with my midwife today (at my next appointment they'll be doing full panel blood work on my iron and thyroid) she mentioned she had heard iron infusions weren't any fun. I said the worse part was the steroids I had to have beforehand and the after affects of that (not only was I a jittery mess, so was Cora until they got out of my/our systems). She gave me the strangest look and said, "Oh, we don't do steroids anymore. They're not necessary." Hmmm... and yet another thing we learn about my care in Hillsdale and how backwards it was. We left, again, praising the Lord for his preservation over myself and Cora during those 4 weeks of iron infusions. Have I mentioned that EVERY SINGLE midwife visit has revealed more and more of this stuff to us? And, it's not like Cora is 15 so you can understand that a decade has passed. No, it was TWO years ago!!!!!!

Anyway, things are fine with the baby and I'm taking one day at a time and hoping for the best! :) Below is a photo from when I was 21 weeks, but it's the most recent one I have! :) Just imagine me slightly bigger. :)