35 Weeks

Taken at my baby shower on Sunday. My shirt is compliments of my mom and sister and is so nice and cool for the weather that's heating up!

I'm 35 weeks today, yeah! I have 2 more weeks to keep this baby inside so it's safe for him to be born. "Safe" meaning, no time in NICU, less chance of complications, etc. Even though it's "only" 2 more weeks it seems an eternity to me right now. I'm still having contractions, though nothing too drastic, for which I'm thankful. I know this baby will come when he's ready, and I'm just praying he comes when God says it's time, even if that time is before 37 weeks. I have to chuckle at the thought that after all this worry, laying low and taking it easy he may just think it's nicer to stay inside and could end up being late! Oh, I sure hope not!!! 

I find myself struggling a lot with fear and anxiety.  I believe some of this is normal, because let's be honest, the idea and thought of labor/delivery is NOT fun or pleasant and there's a lot of pain involved and unknowns. But, I find that my fear is more related to the fear of not wanting things to happen the way they did with Cora. There was so much uncertainty, no control, unnecessary measures taken that became necessary due to being induced. It was all so nuts and chaotic when I look back on it. I'm scared of the same thing happening. However, I know it won't happen that way. Why? Well, for starters I won't be induced (unless absolutely medically necessary) and that's the change. Because I won't be induced all the unnecessary things that became necessary won't happen. I was sharing my fear with David and he said this to me, "I know you can do it. You know why? Because you did it with Cora and this time won't be so horrible." Pray for me if you think about it. Fear is something that I seem to struggle with the most in life and it's starting to hit me pretty hard right now. 

But, YEAH! I'm 35 weeks!!!!