The Other Side of Pregnancy

Being pregnant makes my baby radar that much more strong. I am drawn to all things "baby" and of course I notice all the pregnant women around me. I have also been drawn to shows on TV that have to do with pregnancy or babies. I suppose that's just the way it is--like when you buy a new car you start noticing that EVERYONE has the same car you just bought! :) Unfortunately, my radar is also picking up the sad parts of pregnancy, the sad situations, the situations that aren't ideal.

I was watching the show "16 and Pregnant" on MTV the other day and was so saddened by the predicament of this 16 year old girl. She was the only 1 of her family (she had 4 siblings, all of her sisters being teen moms themselves) that had the chance of graduating high school. Her mom was so insistent about it because she wanted at least 1 of her 5 children to have a better life. And then, the girl gets pregnant. Her boyfriend was probably in his 20s, he certainly wasn't in high school any longer and was a barber. I was so saddened by watching this girl have such high hopes for her future and the future of their baby. She was so sure that her man would stand by her, but a wonderful father, love her and the baby even more then now, etc., etc., etc. I'm sure you can just imagine how it all turned out. Of course, as the pregnancy continues on he becomes less and less interested in her, actually making it pretty clear he's no longer interested now that she's pregnant. He was taped telling his friends that it's fun to have sex with your girl but then once she's pregnant it's just not exciting anymore. Wow. It's time for the baby to be born. The girl is induced (of course) and is crying due to the pain. I mean, labor is just that--labor. It's painful!!! Her man says to her, "Hey! Why are you crying?" DUH!!!! She says he was making her so upset at this point that she was just trying to ignore him. I can't even imagine. Labor with Cora (and I know with Baby Sprout) was hard enough that I can not imagine what it would have been like had it not been for David's constant support and love and strength (and my sister's!). The show ends with her struggling to graduate, taking care of the baby constantly, the father, of course, totally disinterested and the future of everyone unclear. I have to admit I cried. I cried for this girl and the baby. I just found it so sad.

A few days later we were at the mall, and I went into a maternity store to buy a few more things for summer. I love this store, and I have always thought it would be fun to work there. Then, I was reminded, when talking with the sales clerk, that not every pregnancy is ideal and there are some very sad situations. She told us that just the day before she had helped a 12 year old get some maternity clothes. That's right, TWELVE!!!!!!! And, the mom (probably barely 30 herself) was so excited to be buying maternity clothes for her daughter who was due in a week. The father of this unborn child was TWENTY (!!!!). Can you even imagine????????? The sales clerk says she gets teens all the time saying they need to have a Teen Maternity store. WOW!

What is wrong with our society? When did we come to the conclusion that it was OK to televise teens having babies? In who's mind is it OK for a 20 year old and 12 year old to have a sexual relationship? These things are NOT OK and yet our culture seems hell-bent on promoting it!!!! I am so disgusted. I don't think there is any ONE reason for this decline in our society. I don't think there is any ONE thing we can say, "if it weren't for this we wouldn't have teen pregnancy." I think it's a whole lot of things. I think it's girls growing up in fatherless homes; girls growing up in dysfunctional homes where the father might be there but doesn't make any effort to relate to his daughter; I think it's all the horrendous clothes that are sold to be worn by girls of all ages, things I wouldn't wear as an adult and things I truly believe at one time would only be worn by prostitutes.

David and I talk all the time about how we're raising Cora and her brother to be people who love the Lord and don't feel the need to fall to the pressures of society to feel loved. We know we're only 2 years into this parenting thing and these issues are yet to become big. But, we have already started with Cora. We don't buy short skirts/dresses/shorts for her. We don't buy any clothing that says such things as "princess," "I rule," "I'm the boss," etc. We make sure that if she's wearing a tank top it's not spaghetti straps and doesn't fall off her shoulders. Her bathing suits are modest and not bikinis. You may say, "yeah, but she's only 2." Well, folks, if we don't start now when do we start? Because I think if we started when she was in school it would be too late. We are teaching her how to sit in a dress/skirt, how to behave in public and telling her she's beautiful AND smart. David knows the importance of making sure she is secure in his love. Yes, it's "easy" now while she's 2, but I honestly believe that if we keep this practice up when we get to the pre-teen and teen years the foundation will be there and it'll be easier for all of us!

Please, protect your daughters and sons. Protect them from themselves. Be a parent, not a friend. You have plenty of time after they get out of school to be their friend. Do them a favor and be a parent!! They'll thank you later!