It's raining out. I love the rain, usually, but today I'm feeling "rainy" on the inside so it's not helping that it's raining outside too. I have a bright green shirt on today in hopes of feeling a little sunshine! I'm exhausted and don't know why. It gets harder and harder every day to leave my baby at home while I go to work and be bored all day. I feel like a gerbil on a wheel just doing the same thing day in and day out with no reprieve or hope for something different. I don't mean to be so down. I shouldn't wait to write my blog only when I'm feeling down.
I've been asking the Lord a lot in the last few days, "when?" When will we be released from here? When will we get to move on? When will our time in Hillsdale County come to a close? When will churches call? When will the economy get better so they WILL call? When? When? When? Oh, how the Lord must get tired of my whining!
The verse, "do everything without grumbling or complaining" has been running through my mind a lot! Have you ever noticed how much grumbling and complaining enters your day? I have! I seem to grumble and complain without even realizing I'm doing it. I grumble when the alarm clock goes off in the morning; I grumble that I have to go to work; I grumble that I'm bored at work; I grumble that I can't get to bed any earlier. Boy, I must be such a joy to be around!!! Grumble, grumble, grumble. And, I tell myself that it's OK to complain about these things. I mean, 6:00 is too early to be out of bed. I don't want to go to work, and my going to work means my husband hasn't found a job. I want a job that keeps me busy from the time I get there until the time I go home. It's OK to want to go to bed early, right? It might help with the alarm clock grumbling! :) And yet, no matter how much I justify my complaining it's still wrong. I'm told to do EVERYTHING without grumbling or complaining--some versions say arguing or complaining. Wow. It's hard. It's so much easier to just complain the day away. But, it's not right. I need to also remember the verse, "rejoice in the Lord always; I say it again, rejoice!" Quite the opposite of grumbling, huh?
Lord, help me today to be happy and content with where you have us right now. I don't understand why we're still here or why David hasn't found a job, but that's life right now. Help me to rejoice always.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Friday, July 17, 2009
Perseverance...
As David and I sit and wait in this holding pattern we have both been turning to Scripture to find some encouragement, help, peace, guidance, etc. This morning I read in the book of James. It has always been my favorite book. I think you could read it your whole life and still not grasp all of the things that are said there. So many common sense things for living our life the way Christ would want us to. So, though the words are not new to me, because I've read this book several times, sometimes the meaning of the words will strike me afresh and give me just the kick in the pants, or encouragement, I need. Here is what I read this morning and focused my time on:
James 1:2-4 says this, "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."
Perseverance must finish its work...what does that mean? I'm not entirely sure. I read it several times and this is what I came to for now. The word perseverance means "steady persistence in adhering to a course of action, a belief, or a purpose; steadfastness." Steadfastness means, "Fixed or unchanging; steady. Firmly loyal or constant; unswerving." From what I gather from these 2 words and their definitions it takes a while to persevere and once you do you become steadfast, unswerving in your belief. What does this mean for my life right now? Well, I need to persevere under this stress, this time of waiting. I need to learn what I can and learn the things God is trying to teach me. When all is said and done I will hopefully be firm in my belief in Christ and know without doubt that he loves me and wants the best for me. I also see that perseverance means taking a long time. This doesn't happen over night. I need to be steady in my "course of action" and let persistence take its course. Does this mean it's easy? NO!!!!
Whenever I hear the word "persevere" I think of a runner. Now, I don't run, but from what I hear from my friends who do you get a second wind when you run. You run, get tired, think you should quit, want to quit, but as you persevere you get that second wind and realize you can do it! I think it's much the same with life. We run this race of life, and sometimes it'll be an easy run on flat ground, sometimes there are a few obstacles we have to run around, or jump over. Other times there are steep hills (like right now) that we must hold steady and run up so we can enjoy the blessing of the down-hill. Does this inspire me to take up running? No, but it does help me understand what it means to persevere and hold strong.
What I am learning again is that Christ is right there, running along side of me cheering me on. Come on, Jeni, just a few more steps. Put one foot in front of the other. You're almost there. You can do it! Think of how great it'll be to peak this hill and go downhill. I'm right here with you. Christ provides that encouragement, he provides drinks of water along the way and when I trip and fall he picks me up and carries me until I can get back to the race. It's a hard run. It's not easy running at all, let alone uphill, but I am certain that Christ is with me, and I can do it with him by my side.
I encourage you today to think about where you are in your race. Are you on the flat ground? If so, great, enjoy it now, use this time to save energy and to replenish your spiritual stores because I guarantee you the hill is coming. Don't use the flat ground as an excuse to slow down and get lazy in your spiritual life. Maybe you're at the base of the hill and you know hard times are coming. You can do it!!! Christ is with you, getting ready to climb that hill with you. Or, maybe your on the hill, like me. Keep going. Reach out for His hand. Let him help you up that hill. Don't do it alone, and don't stop! You're almost there. Or, maybe, you're going down the hill. You've made it through the trial, you persevered and now you get to enjoy the blessing of going downhill. You have been made stronger and you know it. You also know that you made it and you made it because Christ helped you.
Wherever you are, know that he is with you and wanting to be a part of your race. Stay strong, be steadfast, don't give up. Keep persevering!!
James 1:2-4 says this, "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."
Perseverance must finish its work...what does that mean? I'm not entirely sure. I read it several times and this is what I came to for now. The word perseverance means "steady persistence in adhering to a course of action, a belief, or a purpose; steadfastness." Steadfastness means, "Fixed or unchanging; steady. Firmly loyal or constant; unswerving." From what I gather from these 2 words and their definitions it takes a while to persevere and once you do you become steadfast, unswerving in your belief. What does this mean for my life right now? Well, I need to persevere under this stress, this time of waiting. I need to learn what I can and learn the things God is trying to teach me. When all is said and done I will hopefully be firm in my belief in Christ and know without doubt that he loves me and wants the best for me. I also see that perseverance means taking a long time. This doesn't happen over night. I need to be steady in my "course of action" and let persistence take its course. Does this mean it's easy? NO!!!!
Whenever I hear the word "persevere" I think of a runner. Now, I don't run, but from what I hear from my friends who do you get a second wind when you run. You run, get tired, think you should quit, want to quit, but as you persevere you get that second wind and realize you can do it! I think it's much the same with life. We run this race of life, and sometimes it'll be an easy run on flat ground, sometimes there are a few obstacles we have to run around, or jump over. Other times there are steep hills (like right now) that we must hold steady and run up so we can enjoy the blessing of the down-hill. Does this inspire me to take up running? No, but it does help me understand what it means to persevere and hold strong.
What I am learning again is that Christ is right there, running along side of me cheering me on. Come on, Jeni, just a few more steps. Put one foot in front of the other. You're almost there. You can do it! Think of how great it'll be to peak this hill and go downhill. I'm right here with you. Christ provides that encouragement, he provides drinks of water along the way and when I trip and fall he picks me up and carries me until I can get back to the race. It's a hard run. It's not easy running at all, let alone uphill, but I am certain that Christ is with me, and I can do it with him by my side.
I encourage you today to think about where you are in your race. Are you on the flat ground? If so, great, enjoy it now, use this time to save energy and to replenish your spiritual stores because I guarantee you the hill is coming. Don't use the flat ground as an excuse to slow down and get lazy in your spiritual life. Maybe you're at the base of the hill and you know hard times are coming. You can do it!!! Christ is with you, getting ready to climb that hill with you. Or, maybe your on the hill, like me. Keep going. Reach out for His hand. Let him help you up that hill. Don't do it alone, and don't stop! You're almost there. Or, maybe, you're going down the hill. You've made it through the trial, you persevered and now you get to enjoy the blessing of going downhill. You have been made stronger and you know it. You also know that you made it and you made it because Christ helped you.
Wherever you are, know that he is with you and wanting to be a part of your race. Stay strong, be steadfast, don't give up. Keep persevering!!
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Ode to Dad
Dad with Mom and Cora at our family birthday celebration this past weekend. Today is my Dad's birthday! I wanted to take some time in this blog to tell you about my dad and what he has meant to me over my 31 years of being his daughter. My dad and I have always gotten along. There isn't any big memory of me hating my dad, or not wanting to be around him. He was my hero, my first knight in shining armor, my math tutor (MANY tears shed over math!!!), my guinea pig with my first attempts at cooking (and always telling me it was good). He showed me what it was to be a man of God, to be a good father and husband and helped me to see what it was I needed to look for in my future husband. I could always go to Dad with a question, he would either have an answer, or make one up. :) He seems able to fix anything. I think I have probably always been a "daddy's girl," and I'm just fine with that. I'm proud to be associated with my dad and love him very much. Dad, I hope you have a really wonderful day today. You are a wonderful husband, father and grandfather. I'm so glad Cora has you in her life!! I love you Dad!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
Monday, July 13, 2009
Yah, wahoo, Wii...
Can't you just feel the enthusiasm? :) One of my biggest struggles in life has ALWAYS been my weight. I grew quickly as a child and was the height I am now in 5th grade--5' 4". I always felt like a gargantuan child and always thought I was fat. I look back at photos as me as a child and see that I was NOT fat, I just grew faster than the other girls. Why I couldn't figure out to be friends with people bigger than me, I'll never know...In jr high and high school I still felt fat. By this time we were living in the USA and well, we all know the pressure media puts on us to be thin. I've always hated the way I looked. Well, that's not true. I can think of 2 times when I felt great and loved the way I looked--summer after my freshman year of college when I was a camp counselor and lost a ton of weight, and then at the end of my 2 yrs in Cameroon, I also lost a lot of weight then. However, both times I gained it back. I've never been one to do the fad diets. I believe strongly in being healthy and doing things the "right" way. Alas, how strongly do I REALLY feel about it? Here I am 31, at my heaviest, and I'm STILL struggling with my weight.
My husband and I have come up with a plan for ourselves on losing weight. Again, no fad diet, just making smarter choices about what goes in our mouths and also exercising regularly. We both have weaknesses and have both committed do working on those. For example, I'm to only have 1 bowl (the actual recommended serving size and not a heaping bowl as is customary for me...) of cereal a day, and David can only have 1 can of pop a day. We have committed to having more fruits and veggies in the house and at meals, not so many cookies/brownies/cake/ice cream. We have decided to only eat out ONCE a week, and I have a feeling that will mean WAY less fast food. We went out and bought a Wii to do the exercise program it offers. I even bought us each a new exercising outfit! :) We are ready to go.
Now, we just have to DO IT!!!! What does Nike say? "Just do it?" Yeah, that's the hard part. It's SO EASY to talk about doing something, to lay out your plans, to get prepared. But, I find it extra hard to actually follow through and DO it. I have NEVER been one to lose weight easily. No, not me. I have to WORK at it. I have to sweat, eat rabbit food, cut out the ice cream I so love. I can't hardly even look at food because I'm convinced looking at it causes me to gain weight! :) Sigh...I'm sure that's not true, but it sure feels that way sometimes. I was "blessed" with the German blood and sturdy body. I was not given the tall, thin body type from my Dad's side of the family. Ah well. After 31 years you'd think I would just accept this ridiculous body and move on.
Well, here goes something (sounds more positive then "here goes nothing")! I have started, today, the 30-day challenge offered on our Wii. I MUST stick to it. I'm sick and tired of TALKING and to get DOING. I'd appreciate your prayers if you think about it. I desire to be healthy. I want to give a good example to my children. I don't want to be in my 50s and THEN have to work on setting up good health habits. It'll be hard, I will pray lots, there will be tears and there will be sweat. But, I know the end result will be worth it. I have not decided yet if I will post photos...We shall see.
JUST DO IT!
My husband and I have come up with a plan for ourselves on losing weight. Again, no fad diet, just making smarter choices about what goes in our mouths and also exercising regularly. We both have weaknesses and have both committed do working on those. For example, I'm to only have 1 bowl (the actual recommended serving size and not a heaping bowl as is customary for me...) of cereal a day, and David can only have 1 can of pop a day. We have committed to having more fruits and veggies in the house and at meals, not so many cookies/brownies/cake/ice cream. We have decided to only eat out ONCE a week, and I have a feeling that will mean WAY less fast food. We went out and bought a Wii to do the exercise program it offers. I even bought us each a new exercising outfit! :) We are ready to go.
Now, we just have to DO IT!!!! What does Nike say? "Just do it?" Yeah, that's the hard part. It's SO EASY to talk about doing something, to lay out your plans, to get prepared. But, I find it extra hard to actually follow through and DO it. I have NEVER been one to lose weight easily. No, not me. I have to WORK at it. I have to sweat, eat rabbit food, cut out the ice cream I so love. I can't hardly even look at food because I'm convinced looking at it causes me to gain weight! :) Sigh...I'm sure that's not true, but it sure feels that way sometimes. I was "blessed" with the German blood and sturdy body. I was not given the tall, thin body type from my Dad's side of the family. Ah well. After 31 years you'd think I would just accept this ridiculous body and move on.
Well, here goes something (sounds more positive then "here goes nothing")! I have started, today, the 30-day challenge offered on our Wii. I MUST stick to it. I'm sick and tired of TALKING and to get DOING. I'd appreciate your prayers if you think about it. I desire to be healthy. I want to give a good example to my children. I don't want to be in my 50s and THEN have to work on setting up good health habits. It'll be hard, I will pray lots, there will be tears and there will be sweat. But, I know the end result will be worth it. I have not decided yet if I will post photos...We shall see.
JUST DO IT!
Saturday, July 11, 2009
Just because they're cute!
We have always taken a lot of photos of Molly, but with the arrival of Cora, Molly isn't getting as many. So, I thought I'd share some cute photos of BOTH of our girls! :) I'll let you decide who's cuter, though we think they're both the cutest in their species! :)
My grandmother made this dress for me when I was a baby!
We often find Molly in her bed with her ear flipped over the edge. :)
Just plain cute! :)
Our snoozin' pooch!
Who can resist these baby blues?
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Praise in the Storm
I think I've mentioned that Casting Crowns is one of David and my favorite groups. This song has spoken to me on more than one occasion and it continues to speak to me now. Read the words. They are so powerful!
Praise You in This Storm
words by Mark Hall/music by Mark Hall and Bernie Herms
I was sure by now,God, that You would have reached down
and wiped our tears away, stepped in and saved the day.
But once again, I say amen and it's still raining
as the thunder rolls I barely hear You whisper through the rain,
"I'm with you" and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives and takes away.
Chorus:
And I'll praise you in this storm
and I will lift my hands
for You are who You are no matter where I am
and every tear I've cried You hold in your hand
You never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm
I remember when I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to You
and raised me up again
my strength is almost gone how can I carry on
if I can't find You
and as the thunder rolls I barely hear
You whisper through the rain "I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives and takes away
Chorus
Bridge:
I lift my eyes onto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord,
the maker of heaven and earth
I lift my eyes onto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord,
the maker of heaven and earth
Monday, July 6, 2009
Sigh...
Anger, frustration, not understanding, wondering, second-guessing, questioning, praying, hoping, trying not to become bitter...These are all things I'm feeling and thinking right now. These are things that are forefront on my mind. These are the emotions that are plaguing my husband and I these days.
It's July. It's the middle of summer. It's 8 months from November 2008. We're still in Osseo. We're nowhere closer to knowing where God will send us then we were 8 months ago. We're still waiting. We're still praying. We're quickly losing hope, wondering why we're still here, wondering why we're still in this holding pattern. Is there some big lesson we're supposed to be learning here? Are we only here for the "fun" of it? Why isn't God giving us answers, clues, direction?
It's very hard not to become despondent. It's very hard not to lose hope, not to become bitter. It's very hard not to second-guess decisions made. It's just hard.
We so much want to be somewhere, be involved in ministry again, doing SOMETHING!!! We're trying so hard to do what is right. We're trying so hard to trust. We're trying so hard to make the Lord pleased.
Oh Lord, hear the cries of our hearts. Please release us from this chapter in our lives. Please send us out to the next place of ministry you have for us.
It's July. It's the middle of summer. It's 8 months from November 2008. We're still in Osseo. We're nowhere closer to knowing where God will send us then we were 8 months ago. We're still waiting. We're still praying. We're quickly losing hope, wondering why we're still here, wondering why we're still in this holding pattern. Is there some big lesson we're supposed to be learning here? Are we only here for the "fun" of it? Why isn't God giving us answers, clues, direction?
It's very hard not to become despondent. It's very hard not to lose hope, not to become bitter. It's very hard not to second-guess decisions made. It's just hard.
We so much want to be somewhere, be involved in ministry again, doing SOMETHING!!! We're trying so hard to do what is right. We're trying so hard to trust. We're trying so hard to make the Lord pleased.
Oh Lord, hear the cries of our hearts. Please release us from this chapter in our lives. Please send us out to the next place of ministry you have for us.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)