4 Weeks Old!

Today Cora is 4 weeks old! I can hardly believe it!!! Where have these 4 weeks gone? Much of it is a blur of sleeplessness, diaper changing, nursing and cuddling. But, I know it's been a good 4 weeks too. We have had non-stop visitors since Cora was born. It's been great to have all the help, but David and I have been glad for the few days of being just us too!  Cora is growing, though not as great as we had hoped. Today was her 1 month check up and we discovered she is not back to her birth weight yet. This isn't good, the pediatrician said he thought she should be at least 8 lbs by now. So, with discussing with him how much she cries, won't be consoled, etc it was determined that she is simply hungry!! Oh my. Talk about making a mom (me) feel terrible!!! Apparently, I'm not producing enough milk and so my hour long nursing sessions are still leaving Cora hungry and wanting more, hence the crying. I'm to nurse her still, but only for 10 min on each side and then give her formula for the rest of the feeding. I feel greatly relieved!!! I have wondered for a while now if she was getting enough. Something inside of me told me she wasn't. I had prayed that the Dr would be able to shed some light on the situation today and am so thankful he did! So, we are now doing both nursing and formula and I'm just thankful we have this option! 

We will be spending the next 10 (?) days with family. We're leaving tomorrow for Huntington to show of Cora to her great aunt J and her great grandparents on David's side. We'll also get to show her off to David's church "family" while there! We'll then head to Akron on Wednesday to show her off to my family. This trip will also include David having a second interview and preaching opportunity at a church we are very much interested in! We would appreciate any prayers concerning this! We are VERY ready to move and get settled in the next place God has for us. 

How do I Love Thee?

I love your little toes that you're learning to wiggle.

I love your little ears that I know you're hearing my voice with.

I love your little lips that you're learning how to move and make cute faces with.

I love your little legs that your just now enjoying to stretch.

I love your little head and wonder what things will interest you to learn.

I love your little hands and am excited for you to explore the world with them.

I love your little blue eyes and wish I knew what you see through them.

I love YOU, Cora, and love being your mommy already. 

I can't wait to tell you I love you and for you to understand exactly what that means. 

I'm excited to share the love of Jesus with you and have already been praying that you accept his love and live for him. 

How do I love you? What do I love about you--already so many things. I so look forward to our future as mommy and daughter and can't wait for the memories we'll make together. 

I love you Cora Ann!

Getting Settled

Cora is, today, 3 weeks old. Wow!! Where has the time gone? What's happened to these last 3 weeks? How can it be that 3 weeks ago I was thoroughly exhausted and exhilarated at just giving birth to our baby? Before we know it Cora will be driving! :) OK, so that's still a ways off, but I'm sure when that time comes we'll think it was just yesterday that she was a newborn.

We seem to be doing OK. We have taken great lengths to get some kind of schedule in place for Cora with good feeding times, naps in the morning and afternoon and a regular bedtime. Those these times fluxuate a bit, we seem to be falling into a pattern, for the most part. I know, just as we get used to this it'll change. Ah well. Life is full of changes. 

We have noticed that our little girl is a morning person. I'm beginning to wonder if morning naps are even going to happen?  She is wide awake as soon as I feed her at 8:30 and really doesn't seem interested in falling asleep until later in the afternoon. However, it's fine as she sleeps quite well at night. I'll be glad when we can eliminate the midnight feeding, but I'll take that feeding to her waking every 2 hours. :)

She went on her first walk yesterday, enjoying her new stroller, which was given to her by her great grandmother Reynolds. We had a great walk--enjoying the weather that was in the 60s. I felt my bones beginning to thaw. We'll go again today to enjoy more of the winter thaw! Cora is starting to be more awake for her feedings, which is a huge help to the whole process. OK, so she still needs a lot of coaxing for most of her feedings, but I have noticed a slight change in her being more awake. I'll take whatever little improvement I can get. 

She is such a joy and delight to us. We love looking at her face and watching the little faces she makes. We know she's just exercising those muscles, and has gas, but they're so cute nonetheless.

I need to go for now. Baby is calling...

Easter Fun

Here are some photos from this past weekend! Enjoy!

The Hardin's

The whole clan

Grammy & Grampy with their grandkids

The cousins--Riley is making sure Cora tastes OK

One cool baby

Hope

It's Easter weekend again. I love Easter. I used to always think that Christmas was my favorite holiday, probably because I was young, immature and more interested in the gifts I'd receive than the actual meaning. But, as I've grown older, and hopefully more mature, I have grown to love Easter. It is, I believe, the pinnacle of the Christian faith. Without Easter where would we be as Christians? We would have no hope. The Christmas story would be just a nice story, no further meaning to it.  However, the point of Christmas, our Messiah coming, was for the Easter story--God, sending us his Son, as a baby, growing into a man who had a ministry and then allowing this Son to die a horrible and brutal death on a cross so that you and I might have eternal life with God in heaven. 

Yesterday was Good Friday, the day in the Christian faith we designate as the day Jesus died. Today, Saturday, is a very sad, dark day to me. I mean, the man who was said to be the Messiah is dead. Where is the hope in that? What the disciples must have been thinking. They had spent 3 years with this Messiah, living with him, traveling the country with him, hearing his messages, putting their trust and faith in him and now he's DEAD??? What went wrong? How could this have happened? Wasn't he the all-powerful Son of GOD? What did they miss in all his teachings???  

Thankfully, the story doesn't end at his death. Thankfully, there is something more--which is what we will celebrate tomorrow--on Easter Sunday. On the 3rd day he rose from the dead!!!!!! WHAT??? How can this happen? No one is able to do that. No human can just raise from the dead. That's true--no HUMAN can. But, the Son of God CAN and he DID!  What a joyous moment it must have been when it finally clicked in the minds of the disciples when they realized their Messiah truly WAS the Messiah, wasn't dead after all and had risen from the dead.  Their hope had been restored. They knew they could go on. 

Folks, we have this same Hope today. This hope of Christ, our risen Savior, is ours to have. It's yours to have.  Without Easter we have no hope. Without Jesus dying, taking our sin upon himself, raising from the dead we have no hope, at all. But, He did do all of these things. Why? Because he loves me, he loves YOU. Do you have this hope? Do you know this Jesus who loves you so very much? Who loves you enough to die for you? I hope so, but if not, can I share with you more about him and the hope you can have in him?

Happy Resurrection Day and may you find the hope He offers you today!  

A Mother's Guilt

I've been a mom for no more than 9 days, and I'm already dealing with guilt issues. Am I holding her too much, am I not holding her enough? Is she getting enough to eat, am I eating a healthy enough diet? Am I letting her cry enough? Too much? The list goes on. It can drive a person crazy!  David and I are trying to establish a good routine for Cora. One with eating time, awake time and sleeping time. So far it's going pretty well, but we have seen that maybe we need to bite the bullet and let our precious bundle cry more, not be so anxious to pick her up, etc. It's worse for us than it is for her. We're starting to recognize her cries. There's a definite difference between her angry cry, hungry cry and my-tummy-hurts cry (due to the gas). We can get ourselves all worked up over her crying and feel guilty for just about anything. Sigh...that's not what I'm supposed to do, though. I'm supposed to trust my mother intuition and more importantly the Lord. I need to trust him to take care of her at night while I sleep. I can see how people want to sleep with their child in the bed with them. You have more control that way, right? I can see how you can spend your days wondering if this precious child will be taken from you too soon, will you outlive your child, etc? I'm not trying to be dark and sullen, these are just things I've not had to deal with before and am overwhelmed by the love I have for this child. I know I carried her for 10 long months, but I've only known what she looks like and have been able to hold her for 9 short days. How is it possible to feel so much love for a little person you really don't know that well yet? 

I guess it comes to trusting in our Father. Trusting him to show me how to love her better, more, etc. Trusting him with her life, even though it terrifies me that he could see fit to take her to himself before I would think it her time. Trusting him to help me provide for her every need as she lives and grows up in our home. It's all very, very scary. 

Father, I give this precious child to you. I give her into your care. I can't promise to always keep her there as I struggle with the lack of control that will mean for me. But, I know you are sovereign in all your ways and I know you know what's best for all of us. Help me, Father, to know how to be a good mom. To know how to love this precious child you have blessed us with. And most importantly, help us know how to bring her up to love you and have a personal relationship with you one day. Amen. 

The Things I've Learned So Far

I've been a mom now for 1 whole week. I know, not too long, but I can't imagine being anything else at this time in my life. And, I will never NOT be a mom again. I love that thought! It's scary to think that for the rest of my life I will be helping to shape and mold my children. I mean, my mom has never stopped being my mom. Our relationship has changed over the years, but she is still my mom and I still go to her for help, comfort, encouragement, etc. I know I have MUCH to learn about being a mom. I know I'm going to mess things up really badly at times, I know I'll lose my temper, I know I won't always know what to say. But, I also know that God has brought me to this point, he has been preparing me for 31 years to be at this point now. I know he has given me the tools I need to accomplish this thing called mommy-hood. 

Now, there are a few things I have learned so far in my week as being a mom. First, I will never visit a new mom and her baby without first calling and setting up a time that is good for THEM. And, to go with that, I'll arrive at the time set and NOT stay for an hour or more. In and out--that's what it needs to be. We had some well-meaning folks come to visit us yesterday. They were late, and stayed for at least an hour.  Poor Cora needed to eat, but I didn't know how to tell them to leave and they were making me too uncomfortable to just nurse her while they were here. Sigh...Please, folks, when there's a new baby be considerate. Don't stay very long. 

I've also learned that my baby isn't going to shrivel up and die--this lesson learned thanks to my sister calming me down when I felt Cora wasn't getting enough at her feedings. I'm not saying that all worry is gone, but I'm seeing that she's fine. I may be teaching her to eat, but she IS getting it, she is getting nourished and she's not all dehydrated or anything. 

I'm learning just how much babies poop!!! Good gracious! You change the diaper and I swear they know you've done so and in their minds they're thinking "thanks! Now I have room to go again!" Sigh...thankfully, my husband has been great in taking his turn when it comes to the dirty diapers! :) 

I know I'll be learning more things, even today, but these are just a few of the lessons coming to mind now.