Losing Control

I have been stressed about our upcoming vacation Bible school at the church. Why? Simply because I'm not the one in control/leading it this year. It's not being done the way I would do it, things are getting done when I would get them done...but does it matter? No. The kids will come and hear the Word of God and have a good time anyway. I have to lose control.

Isn't it funny how the less we feel in control the more frantic, stressed, etc we become? It doesn't even have to be anything tragic, it can be as simple as being stuck in traffic or having to wait a bit longer in the check-out line. I am a person who likes control. Ask my friends, family, sister. I'm bossy, I like to be the boss, and I like to be in control. I don't know why. I suppose some would say it's because I'm the oldest child in the family, or because I have a type-A personality, or because of different events that have happened in my life. But, you know what? I think it's simply my sin nature. I think the other reasons are simply excuses that those in the physchology world have come up with so we don't have to be responsible. A feeling of no control leads to worry, stress, fretting, being grumpy, getting angry for no reason. There doesn't seem to be a good side-effect to not having control. I don't care who you are, we all struggle, on some level, with wanting control. Whether you're like me and you just want to control every little detail, or you're one who wants to just let life take you where it will, we all struggle when things don't go the way we think it should.

As a pastor's wife, I have had my eyes opened to what wanting control can do to a person. We have women in our church who feel they have no control of their personal life and the things that go on in their home so the church becomes their domain. You don't even THINK about coming in on "their" territory without consequence. Some women have rotten marriages, or kids gone astray so they want to control everyone else they encounter. It so sad. We, as Christian women, struggle with control in our homes. Didn't God tell us that man would rule over us and that our husband is to be the head of the home? I don't know about you, but sometimes that's hard to swallow--especially when I'm not getting what I want.

In my weekly Bible study we're going through the Old Testament and I see time and again people in Scripture who try to control their own life outcome and refuse to do it God's way. Look at the mess with Abraham and Sarah! She wanted kids, they weren't content to wait on the Lord, she takes matters into her own hands, has her husband sleep with her maidservant and then gets MAD when the servant conceives!!! Brother. Women wanting control is a running theme through Scripture--Sarah, Rachel, Leah, etc. They all wanted it done THEIR way and weren't willing to do it God's way. Look how it turned out for them. Their lives were basically miserable because they didn't just WAIT on the Lord and his timing.

What a lesson this is to me! I always want to know what will happen, when it will happen, why it'll happen, etc. I can drive myself crazy (and my husband) sometimes worrying about the details. Don't we have a God of details, though? Doesn't take too long to figure that out! Just look at all the different flowers, trees, birds, animals, people! He is a God of detail. He knows what needs to be done better than I do. He knows the outcome of the things I plan versus the things He plans. It's my job to be obedient and do HIS will!!! You know what verse is always running through my head? "Be still and know that I am God." Hmmm...coincidence? I think not! There are obvious reason this verse is so familiar to me. Daily I have to BE STILL and remember and KNOW he is God! I can't do it on my own, I can't solve my problems, let alone someone else's on my own (or at all, really, if we're honest). Only God can do this and I have to KNOW he is God!

Go ahead...lose control today! I dare ya! :)